iPod as Oracle – or… How to Invite Moments of Clarity

Have you noticed how your biggest moments of clarity arise out of the blue without warning or effort? Ever wish you could find ways to summon them?

Early in my career, I was desperate to find purpose in the work that I did. As I diligently climbed the corporate ladder, I struggled to bring meaning into my workdays.

My commute time was my only opportunity to connect with myself each day – to break through the emotional numbness that offset the high stress levels. For me in the 1990s, that meant listening to playlists on my iPod, yearning to connect with something that made me feel a flicker of aliveness before stepping into the concrete and glass skyscraper devoid of the seasons.

The connecting moments I lived for were the ones where some lyrical phrase would make me feel something, like mainlining a dose of truth, a fix to get me through the soul-numbing day ahead. It helped me think beyond my circumstances and invited me to dream of a bigger life. It also hurt like hell, seeing no way off of that treadmill of routine in the near or not-so-near future.

What To Do If You're Feeling Helpless About World Events

Sitting in my kitchen this morning, I heard a faraway siren. Immediately, my mind flashed on those a continent away, who, like me, were undisturbed in their homes just a few weeks ago, before the bombs began to fall.

I thought, “What would that be like?” as I superimposed televised images over the peaceful springtime view out my window. I was briefly transported to a war-torn town in a makeshift shelter with no escape. In my body, I felt my heart rate quicken, throat tighten and breath shorten. I was in fight or flight mode without moving a muscle.

When I refocused on my reality, I immediately acknowledged my countless blessings. But that feeling of gratefulness was overshadowed by a sense of helplessness. Then I remembered a story a mentor of mine, Christina, had once shared…

The Art of Holding Paradox

Is it just me or does our world seem increasingly tumultuous and erratic? Is this new or am I just getting older? Could it be I’m just misremembering the past few decades when things seemed a little more even keel?

Lately I’ve been noticing an interesting pattern in conversation, whether with podcast guests or discussions with family and friends. We’re processing a lot as we try to make sense of our world, one that seems to grow in complexity each day. I’ve been looking for a way to work through the upheaval, whether it’s personal, professional, or through larger themes, such the underlying feeling of national discord or the broader global turmoil that’s intensifying.

A practice I’ve written about before is that of holding a question. Recently, I’ve found it helpful to expand that practice to holding the paradox. A paradox is simply a contradictory statement that when explored we may find elements of truth.

Like: “The more you learn the less you know.”

Recalibrating Your Habits

In a recent podcast, I recounted the story of participating in a February virtual workshop where I had quite a realization. I had my notebook on my lap and without much conscious thought, I wrote this phrase: My current habits are not aligning with who I want to become.

That surprised me because I’ve been quite diligent designing my habits with the intended outcome in mind, especially since the pandemic began. But I’m beginning to see that what sustained me throughout these last two years will not support me going forward.

Life has begun to shift once again and even though it’s toward the positive, it’s still change. Our work life, home life, day-to-day routine, how we socialize and travel are all in various states of transformation. As are we.

So it makes sense to move from habits that helped us cope and sustain our daily existence to ones that will help us grow and thrive today and in the future.

The Path of Social Re-emergence

A few weeks ago, a friend reached out coordinate dinner at a new restaurant. My immediate reaction when I read the text was No! My response was so visceral that it gave me pause. This is a group of good friends whose company I’ve missed. What was going on?

The next day, I accepted the invitation and the five of us did have dinner last week. It was a perfect night to dine al fresco. As we were getting settled at the table, one of my friends casually asked, “What’s new?”

It took me longer than usual to gather my thoughts to that simple question. After a long pause I said, “Everything… And nothing.” She laughed and said, “I know exactly what you mean.”

It’s that kind of bewilderment that my friends, clients and colleagues have been describing - this sense that our social muscles have atrophied after a few years of being asocial. So, what’s the path of re-emergence?

Connecting with Inner Wisdom

One of my favorite wellness practices was unexpectedly born out of the pandemic restrictions in March 2020. In the early days of lockdown, I made it a point to walk outside on the trails that are near my home each day. I have kept up that practice each spring through fall and look forward to the first walks of 2022 in the coming weeks.

While I love to hike with others, my daily walks are mine alone by choice. It’s a way for me to practice deep listening – to the natural world and to myself. In doing so, I find I’m more surefooted when the uncertainty of change swirls around me. The more I walk in silence, the more I trust the guidance I receive. The more trustworthy the guidance, the more faith I have in my next step.

These walks rejuvenate me. Nature reminds me that the world is perfect just as it is and there’s an underlying rhythm and seasonality to all life, including mine. These walks remind me to keep my senses acute and my perspective broad. They remind me to be present and allow “what is” in this moment.

Embracing the Next Stage of Life

In a recent podcast episode, I interviewed Tedi Brunetti who introduced herself by saying, “I sing, I write, I play the drums. I have an album out. I’m doing music videos.” And then the 69-year-old added, “I’m a grandma, proud of it. I’m just moving on with this phase of my life in retirement.”

And so began an hour long conversation about living life in stages, aligned with what matters most. For Tedi, it was a journey from musician to mother to medical technician and then back to musician. She’s proud to give each stage of her life, whatever was important at the time, 200% of effort, living with no regrets. This is a woman who does not have a bucket list because anything she wants to do, she does.

It’s an inspiring way to live. And it got me thinking about how we typically transition between life phases. Why is it that we don’t always embrace what might be revealed when the dark red theater curtains are opened and we find ourselves on a new stage of life?

What I've Learned from My 100-Year-Old Father

My father was born in 1922. Five days ago, he turned 100-years-old.

When my mother passed a few years back, he decided it was time to sell his home and move into an (un)assisted living facility. Aside from some industrial deafness and impaired sight from macular degeneration, he is remarkably spry in both mind and body and strong in spirit. He can easily pass for someone 20 years his junior.

Here’s what I’ve observed that I believe has added to his overall longevity and ongoing vitality…

A New Year's Invitation

Every year, I write a New Year’s blog, trying to put a new spin on using the impetus of a fresh start. In 2019, it was about choosing a theme for the year (A Clean Slate). In 2020, the focus was bringing more lovingkindness into the new year (Metta for a New Decade). And last year was about surrendering and allowing the year to unfold (Holding the Empty Space).

I like this evolution. For decades, I was very disciplined about my New Year’s resolutions – continuously striving to get better and achieve big goals. These days, just typing that sentence sends me back to adrenaline spikes and never-ending fatigue. Maybe it’s the season of life I find myself in or the perspective a few years of global upheaval can bring, but a kinder, gentler approach seems appropriate.

Do you feel this way, too?

Distraction is a Drug

When was the last time you completely turned off the noise – no technology, no clocks and no conversation? This past weekend, I had the opportunity to do just that for 24 hours, joining an unplugged virtual retreat.

The rules were simple: attend the opening and closing meetings; cover all clocks; abstain from looking at screens; abstain from speak to other people. At the end of the opening meeting, with a click of the “end meeting” button, we all vanished in cyberspace. And there I was – no phone, computer, tablet, internet, television, podcasts, audiobooks, clocks and no conversation. Absolute silence…

We’ve been hearing more and more about technology addiction, especially since the start of the pandemic. Technology can be a quick and easy way to soothe or escape uncomfortable feelings, confining circumstances or boredom, as would a drink or a drug.

The Journey Toward Authenticity

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you are.” That quote is attributed to Joseph Campbell. It came to mind as I was preparing a recent post for a podcast on the link between authentic living and well-being (Episode #93).

What I learned during that discussion is that it’s not about arriving at the final destination of authentic living. Rather, it’s about the journey that brings us to deeper levels of understanding of ourselves. As Victor says in the episode, “Authentic living results in true well-being when we understand how we continuously create our health profile based on our mindset, life choices and lifestyle.”

But what does it really mean to be our authentic self?

Sailing Into Deep Waters - Part II

In the last blog post, I recounted a conversation I had with podcast guest Paul Trammell, who turned his dream of becoming a writer and sailor into a living reality (Episode #83). And he does so by intentionally designing his life to align with what matters most to him.

It’s an uncomplicated, stress-free life, but one that necessitates ongoing learning and growth. And it’s a life that is carefully curated to maximize the things that make Paul happy.

Paul recommends that we all spend some time thinking about what makes us happy and what our ideal life would look like by walking through a simple process…

Sailing Into Deep Waters - Part I

Have you ever dreamed of leaving your current life behind to sail the tropics? When I was in my 30’s, I can remember reading every book I could find about people who did just that – they bought a boat, learned to sail and set off to live out their days in the islands.

Eventually I realized that, for me, it was less about the sailboat and more about the freedom to live life on my own terms. But I recently had an engaging conversation with Paul Trammell, who turned his dream life of becoming a writer and sailor into a reality.

There were two exchanges during our conversation that had great impact. One has to do with how to reinvent yourself through change and the other is how intentional living can lead to happiness.

Welcoming Seasonal Change

We experience four seasonal shifts each calendar year: two solstices, marking the shortest and longest days of the year, and two equinoxes, when the hours of daylight and darkness are equal. The solstices mark the beginning of winter and summer, but the palpable seasonal turns happen in the spring and autumn when we can sense the energetic transition to a new phase in life. There’s a move toward outward activity and growth in the spring and then a shift inward toward less activity and release in the fall.

You can feel those shifts, can’t you? This time of year, we naturally turn inward toward rest and reflection. It can be a time for acknowledging growth and accomplishments by reviewing all that was experienced during the year. And it can be a time for grieving and releasing what was lost or what wasn’t done.

Right Timing

We’ve all heard the sentiments: timing is everything; right place, right time; if it’s meant to be...

There are times when you want something to happen so badly – and it doesn’t. Times when you’re poised to make a move, but in your gut, you know it’s not time. And then there are times when the very thing you’ve been dreaming of happens without effort, as if it fell out of the sky.

Why do certain things happen at certain times? It’s been my experience that whenever I try something new, there’s a shift that needs to occur in my inner world to be able to prepare for right timing.

Story as Remembrance

I have always been fascinated by story. As I get older and my elders pass on, I seem to have become a family repository of sorts: sepia tone photographs, 8mm movie reels, letters home written by a 21-year-old uncle I never met who was killed in World War II, my grandmother’s handwritten recipes, my fathers state champion gymnastics medals from the 1930s.

Each of these artifacts tell a story. And our family history is enriched by the ability to hold an object and help us remember who we are and where we came from.

The power of storytelling took on added significance this past week as I watched a documentary entitled Memory Box: Echoes of 9/11.

Flow State and Well-being

When I’m asked where I get my ideas for The Athena Wellness blog and podcast, I often reply that I’m in an ongoing conversation with my business. Of course, this isn’t literal, but I do feel a call and response relationship with Athena Wellness.

This relationship is rooted in creative energy and leads the way to best serve my clients, readers and listeners. And I’ve found that the deeper I go with anything – a business, a partnership, nature, a project, or a practice – the more I set the stage to enter creative flow.

Bucket List as Motivation

When I was 40, I embarked on a road trip, driving my camper van from New Jersey to Alaska and back. I was working on Wall Street at the time and had just over three weeks of vacation to make the journey. Even at that intense pace, it was a dream come true for me, born out of an item on my bucket list.

From a wellness standpoint, I think these types of lists can inspire and peak curiosity. When we’re in this state of exploration, our presence deepens and we can feel our level of engagement and happiness increase. Such lists are also reminders that this lifetime is finite, and there’s no better time to take action than right now.

Upping Your Vibe

We’ve all felt it. Someone walks into a room and the energy shifts. Perhaps the person brings a sense of heaviness. Or tension. Or an uplifting feeling that elevates the mood and makes everyone smile.

Isn’t it interesting that we can feel stressed around some people but good around others? We carry this energetic residue and can emit it ourselves. This is because we’re made of energy, in mind, body and spirit. So what we feel when we’re around others turns into how we feel. Energy is a vibration that travels in waves, attracting like energy.

The Beach as Medicine

A much needed, long awaited road trip to a favorite beach is on the horizon. I’m looking forward to the drive out, time with family and friends, and long walks to hidden coves for some quiet time.

It’s hard to disagree with Plato, who is quoted as saying “The sea cures all ailments.” The beach is the perfect setting to enhance our overall well-being.

Here’s how the combination of sun, sea and sand can act as natural medicine that nourishes our body, mind and spirit…

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