mindfulness — Blog — Athena Wellness

Small Steps, Big Strides

I hit a fitness milestone at CrossFit a few weeks back. Part of the workout that day included five sets of seven burpee to pull-up moves. That means hitting the floor with your hands in an all-out sprawl, chest to ground and then using the momentum of the push-up to jump your feet back into a squat position. From there, you spring up, grab an overhead bar and perform a jumping pull-up before jumping back down and repeating the exercise for the required number of reps.

Why am I sharing this? Because before I turned 58-years-old, I couldn’t even dream of pulling myself up once, never mind 35 times in a workout as I did that day. So what changed? Consistent small steps…

How to Create Your Next Life Phase Through Play

At the height of my corporate career, the predominant life coaching advice was to invite more play into your life. That never resonated for me. I tried. Remember the adult coloring book phase of the 20-teens? For me, it had the opposite effect. It felt like a complete waste of time.

But here’s the thing – I’ve learned that we don’t all play the same way.

The Importance of Gathering

Does this situation sound familiar? You’re attending a wake or funeral service chatting with relatives you haven’t seen since, well, the last service for a relative who died. You spend time catching up and as you leave, you find yourself saying something like… “We must get together soon.” You mean it when you say it. But back home and in the flow of life, it never materializes.

This recently happened to me when a cousin of my mom’s passed. He was 85 and a treasured member of our family. As I was uploading pictures to the funeral parlor’s website in preparation for his service, I smiled recalling all the good times these cousins shared in their later years, whether on vacation or at each other’s homes. But then I was struck that almost all of the members of the generation that preceded me, including my mom, have passed. Somehow the kids became the elders.

And I got see these “kids” – all of my second cousins from Brooklyn – when I attended that May funeral. I was amazed at how easily the conversation flowed with people I hadn’t seen in a long time. And I vowed that we’d see each other before the next wake. That reunion happened last week.

The Propulsion of a True Decision

In the September 1st blog, The Birth of a Rite of Passage, I shared my desire to commemorate my 60th birthday in 2024 in an impactful way. I could feel a new adventure begin to form, a mindful quest to help me embody this new decade.

And without warning, I woke on a Sunday morning a few weeks back and just knew – I would be roadtripping to Alaska for 3 ½ months in 2024.

I ended the post by quoting podcast guest Sara Harris who said, “Making the decision to commit to the vision quest, when you say ‘Yes’ – it begins.” And that certainly feels true. I feel like I’m “in it,” like the experience has been launched. But there’s more…

The Birth of a Rite of Passage

There’s a big life milestone on my horizon – I turn 60 in 2024. I start thinking about occasions like this about two years out. It gives me time to plan how I’d like to quietly commemorate the event in a way that’s deeply meaningful for me.

I have to admit, it’s kinda mindboggling that I’m approaching a new decade. I feel younger in mind, body and spirit than I have at any other time in my adult life – just brimming with vitality. But 60?!

In Japan, the 60th birthday is special, as it’s believed that the celebrant begins a new circle of life. It’s traditionally commemorated by wearing red – kimonos for women, vests and hats for men. It’s believed to be a time of rebirth and the color red symbolizes protection. Red gifts are usually given to babies and expectant mothers, making this midlife rebirth all the more celebratory – a beautiful rite of passage.

The Metamorphic Journey From ‘Type A’ to ‘Type Be’ (And How It Can Transform Your Life)

You’re a high achieving, successful businessperson. When something important needs to get done with top quality, people come to you. In fact, you’ve built your career on producing and delivering results without fail, year after year.

But as we know, there’s a shadow side to the Type A behavior that builds thriving careers. Certainly there are physical impacts from the constant sense of urgency that pushes us onto the next thing and then the next. But there are mental, emotional and even spiritual impacts that, if left unattended, can lead to varying degrees of burnout.

I know, I’ve been there. And it’s hard to step off the spinning treadmill of productivity when you’re on it. In fact, that’s what led me to wellness. A vacation in the Alaskan wilderness almost 20 years ago gave me the distance and stillness I needed to understand that it was time to make a change and leave Wall Street. I began to get curious on how I might live differently, even as I continued to juggle professional career stressors with personal life expectations and desires.

But the real change – the most transformative shift of my life – started when I began to question my Type A lifestyle. Was there a kinder approach to getting things done without sacrificing the quality and productivity I consistently delivered? A modification or adaptation? I found the answer to be a resounding “Yes!”

Pondering the Universe From a Beach Chair

Last month I spent some time at one of my favorite beaches with some of my favorite people, including my twin great nieces who are five years old. Everything is a wonder and a delight at that age. It’s miraculous to witness the world through their eyes.

Around that time, we humans also got some new eyes as well. Infrared ones attached to a $10 billion, multi-decade project named the James Webb Space Telescope or JWST. The initial images that were shared mid-July were stunning and just a taste of what’s to follow.

It gave me a lot to ponder as I sat on my beach chair looking up at the unobstructed sky. Somewhere above me, the JW observatory floated a million miles away as it orbited around the sun. Three things came to mind…

12 Things to Consider If You're Thinking About Leaving Your Corporate Gig

I can remember it so clearly. It was about a month before I was planning to tell the Board of my decision to retire. Getting ready for work one morning, I froze with fear. It was gripping and it stopped me in my tracks.

The mental cacophony was relentless: “This is a life impacting decision. You’re throwing away more than three decades of work. Are you crazy?!”

Then a funny thing happened. A complete sense of calm permeated my body. The shift from anxiety to serenity was jolting. The mental chatter gave way to a series of matter-of-fact statements: “It’s time to embark on a new journey. You’ve been preparing your whole life for this. You’re fully capable of whatever lies ahead.”

In the wake of this brief moment, my energy felt peaceful, quiet and still. As I replayed the reassuring words in my head, they felt supportive and encouraging, and the tone resonated as truth. That moment happened in 2018. The fear never returned and the calmness has remained.

Do you feel overwhelmed with fear whenever you allow yourself to daydream about leaving corporate life behind? The good news is that we now live in a time when it’s completely acceptable to reassess our careers and what work means for us. But what’s the right decision for you?

Retirement is a Verb

Have you ever had one of those days when seemingly disparate thought streams keep swirling around in your head?

Like you, I’ve been trying to make sense of national and world affairs, feeling the unending waves of change and tragedy. Also occupying my mind these days is the unfolding of a new horizon of my work, which is focused on helping professionals who are contemplating leaving corporate life and those who have recently retired find meaning and purpose in this current stage of life.

To distract myself from all of this mental busyness, I listened to a favorite podcast while running errands early one morning. A guest was recounting a story of a decision a man made more than five decades prior to volunteer one hour of his time each week for a cause that deeply affected him. Through that one hour of pro bono legal work, the guest’s father was able to provide an upbringing for his children that he would not have been able to if it weren’t for that lawyer’s donated time. And one of those children, the man who was telling the story, dedicated his life to public service and currently serves as a U.S. senator.

That’s when all of my mental chatter converged and I realized that retirement is a verb.

The One Question to Ask When Considering Post-Corporate Life

Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming about what it will be like when your corporate career ends? Do you have a clear vision or is it a blank slate? Perhaps you’re stuck because you think you need to have a clearly defined plan before you embark on a new adventure.

While pursuing a solo passion is the path for some, most people, myself included, don’t have a singular focus. In fact, when I left my long-time career to become an entrepreneur, I decided on the general direction of wellness and was in the process of writing a book, but I wasn’t certain where the business would lead.

Turns out, a passion of mine is podcasting, which I didn’t know in 2019 when I left my job. Another passion has become online education, creating courses to help midlife professionals as they transition out of their corporate careers. I found my way to these new activities through experimentation.

You can, too. And there’s a really simple way to get started – with one question. It was the question I asked myself five years before I left my corporate gig. And that question is…

Some Thoughts on the Great Resignation and Wellness

We’ve all seen the headlines and read the stories. A massive transformation of the workforce is underway due to people making decisions regarding their mental and physical health, childcare, salary, retirement, purpose, entrepreneurial opportunities, or, to a lesser degree, leaving the workforce altogether.

The Great Resignation is an economic trend that started in 2021 when a mass exodus from the workforce began with millions voluntarily leaving their jobs – 47.8 million (and counting) according to the U.S. Labor Department. There are many theories as to why people are quitting at a time when companies are desperate to hire. Some point to pandemic safety concerns, burnout, and economic factors, like wage levels.

But over the last two years, many have reflected on their lives, including the importance of work/life balance and purpose. Those who have been fortunate enough to experience the freedom that comes with working from home or work schedule flexibility aren’t excited to be going back to the traditional 9-5 lifestyle.

What I Learned from 13 Rounds of the ProLon Fast

Have you noticed how your biggest moments of clarity arise out of the blue without warning or effort? Ever wish you could find ways to summon them?

Early in my career, I was desperate to find purpose in the work that I did. As I diligently climbed the corporate ladder, I struggled to bring meaning into my workdays.

My commute time was my only opportunity to connect with myself each day – to break through the emotional numbness that offset the high stress levels. For me in the 1990s, that meant listening to playlists on my iPod, yearning to connect with something that made me feel a flicker of aliveness before stepping into the concrete and glass skyscraper devoid of the seasons.

The connecting moments I lived for were the ones where some lyrical phrase would make me feel something, like mainlining a dose of truth, a fix to get me through the soul-numbing day ahead. It helped me think beyond my circumstances and invited me to dream of a bigger life. It also hurt like hell, seeing no way off of that treadmill of routine in the near or not-so-near future.

iPod as Oracle – or… How to Invite Moments of Clarity

Have you noticed how your biggest moments of clarity arise out of the blue without warning or effort? Ever wish you could find ways to summon them?

Early in my career, I was desperate to find purpose in the work that I did. As I diligently climbed the corporate ladder, I struggled to bring meaning into my workdays.

My commute time was my only opportunity to connect with myself each day – to break through the emotional numbness that offset the high stress levels. For me in the 1990s, that meant listening to playlists on my iPod, yearning to connect with something that made me feel a flicker of aliveness before stepping into the concrete and glass skyscraper devoid of the seasons.

The connecting moments I lived for were the ones where some lyrical phrase would make me feel something, like mainlining a dose of truth, a fix to get me through the soul-numbing day ahead. It helped me think beyond my circumstances and invited me to dream of a bigger life. It also hurt like hell, seeing no way off of that treadmill of routine in the near or not-so-near future.

What To Do If You're Feeling Helpless About World Events

Sitting in my kitchen this morning, I heard a faraway siren. Immediately, my mind flashed on those a continent away, who, like me, were undisturbed in their homes just a few weeks ago, before the bombs began to fall.

I thought, “What would that be like?” as I superimposed televised images over the peaceful springtime view out my window. I was briefly transported to a war-torn town in a makeshift shelter with no escape. In my body, I felt my heart rate quicken, throat tighten and breath shorten. I was in fight or flight mode without moving a muscle.

When I refocused on my reality, I immediately acknowledged my countless blessings. But that feeling of gratefulness was overshadowed by a sense of helplessness. Then I remembered a story a mentor of mine, Christina, had once shared…

The Art of Holding Paradox

Is it just me or does our world seem increasingly tumultuous and erratic? Is this new or am I just getting older? Could it be I’m just misremembering the past few decades when things seemed a little more even keel?

Lately I’ve been noticing an interesting pattern in conversation, whether with podcast guests or discussions with family and friends. We’re processing a lot as we try to make sense of our world, one that seems to grow in complexity each day. I’ve been looking for a way to work through the upheaval, whether it’s personal, professional, or through larger themes, such the underlying feeling of national discord or the broader global turmoil that’s intensifying.

A practice I’ve written about before is that of holding a question. Recently, I’ve found it helpful to expand that practice to holding the paradox. A paradox is simply a contradictory statement that when explored we may find elements of truth.

Like: “The more you learn the less you know.”

Recalibrating Your Habits

In a recent podcast, I recounted the story of participating in a February virtual workshop where I had quite a realization. I had my notebook on my lap and without much conscious thought, I wrote this phrase: My current habits are not aligning with who I want to become.

That surprised me because I’ve been quite diligent designing my habits with the intended outcome in mind, especially since the pandemic began. But I’m beginning to see that what sustained me throughout these last two years will not support me going forward.

Life has begun to shift once again and even though it’s toward the positive, it’s still change. Our work life, home life, day-to-day routine, how we socialize and travel are all in various states of transformation. As are we.

So it makes sense to move from habits that helped us cope and sustain our daily existence to ones that will help us grow and thrive today and in the future.

The Path of Social Re-emergence

A few weeks ago, a friend reached out coordinate dinner at a new restaurant. My immediate reaction when I read the text was No! My response was so visceral that it gave me pause. This is a group of good friends whose company I’ve missed. What was going on?

The next day, I accepted the invitation and the five of us did have dinner last week. It was a perfect night to dine al fresco. As we were getting settled at the table, one of my friends casually asked, “What’s new?”

It took me longer than usual to gather my thoughts to that simple question. After a long pause I said, “Everything… And nothing.” She laughed and said, “I know exactly what you mean.”

It’s that kind of bewilderment that my friends, clients and colleagues have been describing - this sense that our social muscles have atrophied after a few years of being asocial. So, what’s the path of re-emergence?

Connecting with Inner Wisdom

One of my favorite wellness practices was unexpectedly born out of the pandemic restrictions in March 2020. In the early days of lockdown, I made it a point to walk outside on the trails that are near my home each day. I have kept up that practice each spring through fall and look forward to the first walks of 2022 in the coming weeks.

While I love to hike with others, my daily walks are mine alone by choice. It’s a way for me to practice deep listening – to the natural world and to myself. In doing so, I find I’m more surefooted when the uncertainty of change swirls around me. The more I walk in silence, the more I trust the guidance I receive. The more trustworthy the guidance, the more faith I have in my next step.

These walks rejuvenate me. Nature reminds me that the world is perfect just as it is and there’s an underlying rhythm and seasonality to all life, including mine. These walks remind me to keep my senses acute and my perspective broad. They remind me to be present and allow “what is” in this moment.

Embracing the Next Stage of Life

In a recent podcast episode, I interviewed Tedi Brunetti who introduced herself by saying, “I sing, I write, I play the drums. I have an album out. I’m doing music videos.” And then the 69-year-old added, “I’m a grandma, proud of it. I’m just moving on with this phase of my life in retirement.”

And so began an hour long conversation about living life in stages, aligned with what matters most. For Tedi, it was a journey from musician to mother to medical technician and then back to musician. She’s proud to give each stage of her life, whatever was important at the time, 200% of effort, living with no regrets. This is a woman who does not have a bucket list because anything she wants to do, she does.

It’s an inspiring way to live. And it got me thinking about how we typically transition between life phases. Why is it that we don’t always embrace what might be revealed when the dark red theater curtains are opened and we find ourselves on a new stage of life?

What I've Learned from My 100-Year-Old Father

My father was born in 1922. Five days ago, he turned 100-years-old.

When my mother passed a few years back, he decided it was time to sell his home and move into an (un)assisted living facility. Aside from some industrial deafness and impaired sight from macular degeneration, he is remarkably spry in both mind and body and strong in spirit. He can easily pass for someone 20 years his junior.

Here’s what I’ve observed that I believe has added to his overall longevity and ongoing vitality…

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