Sailing Into Deep Waters - Part I
Have you ever dreamed of leaving your current life behind to sail the tropics? When I was in my 30’s, I can remember reading every book I could find about people who did just that – they bought a boat, learned to sail and set off to live out their days in the islands.
Eventually I realized that, for me, it was less about the sailboat and more about the freedom to live life on my own terms. But I recently had an engaging conversation with Paul Trammell, who turned his dream life of becoming a writer and sailor into a reality.
Paul shares his adventures in Episode #83 of The Athena Wellness Podcast, taking listeners on a story-filled journey on how he made his way from a carpenter and musician to living aboard his boat full-time. What I love most about Paul’s story is his approach to designing his life to align with what matters most to him: nature, adventure, creativity and solitude.
There were two exchanges during our conversation that had great impact. One has to do with how to reinvent yourself through change and the other is how intentional living can lead to happiness. We’ll explore reinvention in this blog post and intentional living in the next one.
Paul’s reinvention began with the decision to get sober more than six years ago. He implemented two techniques to help him through this major lifestyle transition: 1) substitution and 2) changing as much of his life circumstances as possible.
From the beginning of his sobriety journey, Paul knew he needed to fill the big empty space that drinking occupied for so many years with healthy choices. Substitution meant that Paul had to have new activities at the ready to turn his addiction into something positive, while getting his mind and body stronger and healthier.
This wasn’t easy as he experienced withdrawal and the unpredictable emotions that went with it. To deal with his anxiety, Paul began hitting the gym, using weights and the heavy bag. He also began running, cranking up aggressive music and sprinting down to the beach. This new level of fitness led to learning how to ocean swim, an activity that both scared and invigorated him.
The second method involved changing as much of his life circumstances as he could to minimize the triggers that reminded him of his drinking past. He quit the reggae band he played and toured with for years. He expanded his circle of friends to include active, healthy people, like the local lifeguards he met up with for early morning ocean swims during the winter offseason, sometimes followed by a group breakfast.
As his life changed, so did his desires. He began to shape his big sailing dream, eventually buying a boat, learning how to singlehand sail, and finally selling his house and leaving his carpentry job to write and sail full-time.
These huge changes minimized the reminders of his drinking life and his old habits. Since leaving his old neighborhood, he’s no longer tempted by driving past his old liquor store or seeing his old partying friends. Today, Paul’s boat is his temptation-free sanctuary. He has reinvented himself into a writer, sailor and a person who is not associated with alcohol.
As a wellness coach, I love this approach for any healthy change you’re looking to implement, such as changes to your eating and exercise habits. The more you can prepare and change your outer world, the stronger the support will be for your inner transformation that’s occurring. You’ll also feel less dissonance, because you’re not trying to wedge your changed self into your old life.
In the next blog post, we’ll explore how reinvention can lead to intentional living and ultimately – to happiness.
Journal Reflections: What is the biggest change you’re looking to implement in your life today? What healthy substitutions can you have at the ready? What can you change around you to reduce the temptation to succumb to your old unhealthy habits?