The Regret of Paths Not Taken

I’ve been mulling over some research published by psychologist Tom Gilovich. A few years ago, he co-wrote a paper titled, “The Ideal Road Not Taken.” I was struck by his findings. Gilovich concluded that regret does not come from failing to satisfy obligations and responsibilities. Rather, remorse stems from unfulfilled hopes and aspirations.

Gilovich also notes there are three components that comprise a person’s sense of self. The actual self, which includes attributes you believe you possess; the ideal self, which includes attributes you’d like to possess along with your hopes and dreams; and the ought self, which includes your shoulds, such as your obligations and responsibilities.

And where do we usually focus our intentions and goals? On our ought self.

Approaching Life as a Discovery Draft

Recently, I experienced something unexpected. I was listening to a podcast as I did some work around the house and it hit me – it was time to think about writing my next book.

I grabbed my notebook and jotted down a few notes on the premise. I started doing some research on writing this type of book and within minutes, I found someone who might be able to support me during this project. Serendipitously, she was offering an introductory workshop. I worked with her for three months to create a book outline and project plan.

I learned two concepts during that experience that relate to why writers don’t finish their projects. But as I reflected, these ideas can be applied to wellness and navigating life transitions.

Unlock Your Next Chapter, Pt. IV - Creating a Post-Corporate Life

This is the final installment of a four-part series to Unlock Your Next Chapter, inspired by the biggest lesson learned since leaving corporate life behind, which is, the skills that make you successful in one chapter of your life are rarely the ones you rely on as you create the next one.

Part IV of the series concludes with an example of how to use the hero’s journey framework to visualize your life in a new way, with a focus on learning and growth. Reframing your life in this manner will help you declare your call to action and take that important first step.

Unlock Your Next Chapter, Pt. III - Your Hero's Journey

This is the third installment of a four-part series to Unlock Your Next Chapter, inspired by the biggest lesson learned since leaving corporate life behind, which is, the skills that make you successful in one chapter of your life are rarely the ones you rely on as you create the next one.

Part III of the series continues with an exploration of the hero’s journey, a common story format you can use to visualize your life in a new way, with a focus on learning and growth. Reframing your life in this manner will help you discover everyday life adventures and help you feel your way forward.

Unlock Your Next Chapter, Pt. II - Your Origin Story

This is the second installment of a four-part series to Unlock Your Next Chapter, inspired by the biggest lesson learned since leaving corporate life behind, which is, the skills that make you successful in one chapter of your life are rarely the ones you rely on as you create the next one.

Part II of the series includes an exploration of your origin story, looking for themes and working with questions to help you understand where you’ve been so you can set your sights on the hero’s journey of your choosing that lies ahead.

Unlock Your Next Chapter, Pt. I - The Gift of Discontent

This is the first installment of a four-part series to Unlock Your Next Chapter, inspired by the biggest lesson learned since leaving corporate life behind, which is, the skills that make you successful in one chapter of your life are rarely the ones you rely on as you create the next one.

Part I of the series includes an exploration of that vague yet unshakeable feeling of discontent that leads us to make life changes. You’re then invited to consider areas where you feel discontent, what might bring relief, and how to gather information to help you move forward.

Envisioning Your Future, Pt. IV – Future Self Emulation

This is the final installment of a four-part series on Envisioning Your Future as a means of reinventing yourself in your second chapter. An important component of reinvention is holding a clear vision of who you’re becoming and where you’d like to go. And an effective way to gain clarity is by defining, exploring and working toward your future self, a powerful tool for envisioning the version of yourself you’re striving to become.

Part IV of the series includes a number of ways to work with your future self vision, including how to emulate the future self you met during the visualization shared in the prior article.

Envisioning Your Future, Pt. III – Future Self Visualization

This is the third installment of a multi-part series on Envisioning Your Future as a means of reinventing yourself in your second chapter. An important component of reinvention is holding a clear vision of who you’re becoming and where you’d like to go. And an effective way to gain clarity is by defining, exploring and working toward your future self, a powerful tool for envisioning the version of yourself you’re striving to become.

Part III of the series includes a visualization adapted from an exercise developed by the Coaches Training Institute. Clients have found this exercise to be very insightful and invaluable in transcending limiting beliefs and familiar boundaries.

Envisioning Your Future, Pt. II – Inner Wisdom

This is the second installment of a multi-part series on Envisioning Your Future as a means of reinventing yourself in your second chapter. An important component of reinvention is holding a clear vision of who you’re becoming and where you’d like to go. And an effective way to gain clarity is by defining, exploring and working toward your future self, a powerful tool for envisioning the version of yourself you’re striving to become.

Part II of the series includes the importance of connecting with your inner wisdom, the place in your heart that holds your deepest desires as well as an exercise to help you practice what a true “yes” feels like for you – a useful tool for your inner journey.

Envisioning Your Future, Pt. I – Inner Vision

This is the first installment of a multi-part series on Envisioning Your Future as a means of reinventing yourself in your second chapter. An important component of reinvention is holding a clear vision of who you’re becoming and where you’d like to go. And an effective way to gain clarity is by defining, exploring and working toward your future self, a powerful tool for envisioning the version of yourself you’re striving to become.

Part I of the series includes an overview of what the future self is and how to work with it to create an inner vision of your next life chapter.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part IX - The Plan

This is the final installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part IX of the series, we’ll put it all together and I’ll share how I utilized The Athena Principles and related practices we reviewed in these articles to create a wellness plan for 2024.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part VIII - The Strategy

This is the eighth installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part VIII of the series, we’ll put it all together and I’ll share how I worked through these articles alongside you, utilizing The Athena Principles to reimagine my own midlife wellness. But first, a story to frame this exchange.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part VII - Accountability

This is the seventh installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part VII of the series, we’ll be exploring the fifth Athena Principle, which is accountability, defined as a systematic way to check in with what you commit to accomplish, celebrate the wins, and compassionately adjust where needed.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part VI - Growth Mindset

This is the sixth installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part VI of the series, we’ll be exploring the fourth Athena Principle, which is growth mindset. I love this Principle, because how you view your wellness journey not only determines your level of progress, but your level of enjoyment. I’ve found that the older I get, the more satisfaction and pleasure I want to experience as part of my wellness routines.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part V – Consistency

This is the fifth installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part V of the series, we’ll be exploring the third Athena Principle, which is consistency, defined as the art of staying committed and engaged, especially during challenging times.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part IV – Intention

This is the fourth installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part IV of the series, we’ll be exploring the second Athena Principle, which is intention, defined as a way to help us aim, set direction and connect emotionally to what we want – it’s the heart-based “Why” behind the urge to transform.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part III – Self-Compassion

This is the third installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

In Part III of the series, we’ll be exploring the first Athena Principle, which is self-compassion, defined as the care for one’s own well-being in the form of self-acceptance and nurturing support. It’s the ability to accept our imperfections and be kind and understanding toward ourselves, which is a useful approach as we age.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part II – The Athena Principles

This is the second installment of a multi-part series focusing on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, an essential topic for several reasons: It’s important to stay well in times of transition; it’s vital to stay well as get we older; and vitality is essential if we’re going to make the most of our next chapter.

Since wellness is unique for each individual, in this series of articles, I’ll share some thoughts and provide a framework to define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well. In Part II of the series, we’ll be exploring the five Athena Principles along with tools and practices you can use to enhance your wellness and well-being.

Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part I – What is Wellness?

This is the first installment of a multi-part series focusing on Reimagining Midlife Wellness. Why the need for this series of articles? It’s important to stay well in times of transition and it's vital to stay well as we get older. Vitality is essential if we're going to make the most of our next chapter.

Wellness is personal and looks different for each of us. This is an opportunity to re-examine some of the things that you've been doing and make changes or implement some new wellness practices that align with your current desires. In this series, I'll share some thoughts and give you a framework to define what matters most to you at this stage of your life, along with ways to continue to take positive action to be well.

Waiting is Part of the Life Transition Process

We experience many personal and professional transitions over a lifetime: life stages, relationships, house moves, careers and ways of being. It's human nature to want to be on the other side of the change that we're experiencing as quickly as possible.

I've learned that when I don't put any time pressure on the change, I get more out of the experience. And sometimes, it happens without me even noticing.

There are a number of benefits to mindfully step through change in this way. Here are some to consider…

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