midlife wellness — Blog — Athena Wellness

Mid-Year Refresh – A Well-being Check-in

Six months have passed since we rang in 2024 and a perfect time for a little mid-year reflection, the practice of intentionally reviewing your experiences, thoughts and feelings.

I often recommend the practice of reflection because it’s simple and easy – there’s no way to get it wrong. It’s also a wonderful way to enhance your self-awareness by using the insights from your learning and growth to navigate your future with more wisdom and ease.

The reason why reflection is so powerful at the beginning or midpoint of the calendar year is it helps you make meaning of your experiences by allowing time to absorb a deeper understanding of your needs and desires. Here’s how to approach it.

The Power of a Reverse Bucket List

In the wake of being with a loved one at the end of their life, it’s not unusual to take the proverbial bucket list approach to your own. A bucket list is an itemized inventory of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. It focuses on what hasn’t yet been achieved and can be used to keep track of things we want to do when there’s more time or resources.

Of course, what can happen is that the perfect moment never arrives or a person can run out of vitality or time before getting to the items on the list. And even when items are methodically checked off, satisfaction can be brief, lasting until another item on the list becomes the focus. This is what gives bucket lists a quality of “I’ll be happy when…”

Enter the reverse bucket list, which can act like a roadmap for a life filled with lasting satisfaction and meaning.

The Regret of Paths Not Taken

I’ve been mulling over some research published by psychologist Tom Gilovich. A few years ago, he co-wrote a paper titled, “The Ideal Road Not Taken.” I was struck by his findings. Gilovich concluded that regret does not come from failing to satisfy obligations and responsibilities. Rather, remorse stems from unfulfilled hopes and aspirations.

Gilovich also notes there are three components that comprise a person’s sense of self. The actual self, which includes attributes you believe you possess; the ideal self, which includes attributes you’d like to possess along with your hopes and dreams; and the ought self, which includes your shoulds, such as your obligations and responsibilities.

And where do we usually focus our intentions and goals? On our ought self.

Approaching Life as a Discovery Draft

Recently, I experienced something unexpected. I was listening to a podcast as I did some work around the house and it hit me – it was time to think about writing my next book.

I grabbed my notebook and jotted down a few notes on the premise. I started doing some research on writing this type of book and within minutes, I found someone who might be able to support me during this project. Serendipitously, she was offering an introductory workshop. I worked with her for three months to create a book outline and project plan.

I learned two concepts during that experience that relate to why writers don’t finish their projects. But as I reflected, these ideas can be applied to wellness and navigating life transitions.

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