Life Beyond the Ladder, Part IV - Welcoming Growth
As professionals transition out of long-term careers, they often find themselves grappling with a complex interplay of challenges and opportunities. At the core of this experience lies the universal challenge of change, which involves working through self-doubt, the fear of the unknown, and stepping outside of a well-established comfort zone. And that intensity is further amplified for those in midlife who may also confront issues such as ageism, identity crisis, and social isolation.
But among these challenges are numerous opportunities for significant growth and personal development. By approaching change as a chance to explore new possibilities, learn new skills, and redefine the self, a professional transition can transmute into a positive experience. This requires a mindset shift – a mentality that’s eager to live a more fulfilling life, embraces the unknown with curiosity and openness, and welcomes growth.
While the idea of welcoming growth in times of transition can make intellectual sense, it can be difficult to navigate in everyday situations and sometimes lead to awkward or uncomfortable interactions with others. Let’s take a look at three examples:
Socializing with former colleagues: It can feel uncomfortable to reconnect with your network once you’ve transitioned out of professional life, especially if you’re still figuring out your next step. They may ask questions you’re not ready to address or make assumptions about how you should be spending your time. You may also find yourself comparing their situation to yours, which could lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Handling expectations: Family and friends may share unsolicited advice about how to navigate your career change and these views may not align with what you feel is best at this stage of your life. As a result, you may feel misunderstood or judged, which can cause friction in your closest relationships.
Attending social events: Engaging in small talk while you’re going through a significant transition can also be challenging. You may feel like you don’t fit in or that you no longer have anything interesting to offer. It may especially trying to participate in conversations that are career-related.
While these types of situations and feelings are normal, your experience will be unique. By developing coping strategies and building a strong support network, you can use these challenges as opportunities for development and growth. Here are some recommended strategies to turn challenges into stepping stones toward your next life chapter:
Strategy #1 – Redefining and building supportive relationships.
Overview: Transitions are wonderful opportunities to discover new ways to relate to family, friends and colleagues, and build deeper relationships with them. Strong relationships can provide emotional support, encouragement and guidance during transitional times, resulting in a network of individuals who can help you navigate challenges and celebrate your successes.
Strategies:
Re-evaluate existing relationships. Honestly assess the quality of each connection. Does the relationship provide emotional support where you feel understood, valued and cared for? Do you feel comfortable seeking advice, comfort or encouragement from this person? Do you have shared values and interests? Is the giving and receiving ratio in the relationship balanced? Are you comfortable being yourself in this person’s presence? Are you learning and growing with this person?
Seek new connections. Find new social opportunities through groups, volunteering and online communities that align with your emerging interests. As you meet new people, ask yourself if you share common values. Does this person bring positive energy into your life? Do they feel fun to be around? Do you enjoy the time you spend with them?
Takeaway: Focus on quality over quantity and build deep and meaningful connections with a core group that is mutually supportive and uplifting. The benefits of such relationships include enhanced emotional well-being and an increased sense of belonging, two qualities that are vital when transitioning to a new life phase.
Strategy #2 – Setting boundaries.
Overview: Boundaries are essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being, especially during times of significant change. Establishing clear boundaries and communicating them effectively will help you stay in a positive mindset and prioritize what you need most in this time of transition.
Strategies:
Identify your boundaries. Reflect on your core beliefs and values to define your “non-negotiables.” What do you need to feel healthy, happy and supported? What are you not comfortable with or no longer desire to have in your life?
Communicate your boundaries. Determine the appropriate time and place to have the discussion and calmly keep the focus on your needs and boundaries rather than the other person’s behaviors.
Re-enforce your boundaries when needed. While it may be difficult to consistently stick to your boundaries, it’s important to communicate when boundaries are crossed. Handle each situation with grace, but be firm when you politely say no. Determine in advance how to handle repeat offenders, including limiting your interaction with them.
Takeaway: Focus on the positive outcome of setting the boundary and how good it feels to stand up and be your own best advocate. The benefits of doing so include a greater sense of control over your decisions and choices, along with increased self-esteem and stronger relationships over time.
Strategy #3 – Deepening communication.
Overview: Effective communication is essential for navigating the challenges and opportunities that arise during life transitions. By communicating candidly and openly about your situation, you can create a supportive environment and deeper interpersonal connections.
Strategies:
Be transparent in your bewilderment. Honesty is key. Let your inner circle know that you’re still figuring things out. This not only alleviates inner pressure, but it builds trust with others as well.
Share your journey with loved ones. This includes the confusion and the clarity, the uncertainty and the enthusiasm, along with your desires, aspirations, explorations, discoveries and plans.
Takeaway: Focus on healthy dialogue, giving loved ones the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. Ask for support and encouragement as needed. The benefits of investing in deep communication include strengthened bonds, increased support, and enhanced clarity through the discussions with others.
Strategy #4 – Creating a positive mindset.
Overview: Shifting your focus to positive aspects of your situation and life can help you navigate transitional challenges more effectively. An optimistic view also creates a more fulfilling and enjoyable experience.
Strategies:
Shift the inner dialogue. Be mindful of your inner talk track to ensure it stays affirming and supportive. When negative thoughts are persistent, question their validity. When unconstructive thoughts are traced back to their root, which is usually fear, their power is minimized and their purpose, which is usually protection, can be honored and appreciated.
Shift the outer dialogue. When speaking with others, frame your transition positively. Highlight the benefits and what you’re looking forward to as a result of the change. Look toward the future and ask others about their hopes, dreams and aspirations.
Takeaway: Your attitude and perspective can greatly influence the interactions you have with others. Focus on surrounding yourself with encouraging individuals and in a living space that reinforces positivity. The benefits of doing so will boost your mood, reduce stress and lead to a life approach where challenges aren’t ignored, rather, they are overcome through hopeful and optimistic action.
Strategy #5 – Going beyond your comfort zone.
Overview: To embrace and welcome growth, it’s essential to step outside the familiar, including roles, routines and social circles. While these things can provide a sense of security and stability, they can also limit development over time. Stepping out of your comfort zone will open up new opportunities and interests.
Strategies:
Personal leaps. Options include making lifestyle changes, returning to school, taking an online course, learning a new skill, committing to a creative pursuit, engaging in new social situations, traveling, and pursuing an adventure.
Professional leaps. Options include starting a business, engaging in a different line of work, monetizing a side hustle, and exploring volunteer opportunities.
Takeaway: Focus, perhaps for the first time in your life, on what intrigues and excites you. The benefits of stepping outside of your comfort zone include unlocking your full potential and creating a vibrant life you love.
Welcoming growth is not only a personal choice, but also a powerful way to contribute to the greater good. By seizing the opportunities that arise during a professional transition, you can make a lasting impact on your community and the world – all while leading a more vibrant and meaningful life that leaves a legacy of positive impact.
Journal Reflections: How have you handled accelerated growth spurts in the past? What feels different at this life juncture? How can you use past experience this time around?