Finding Your Center – An Approach to Well-being
As we navigate life’s twists and turns, it’s easy to forget the importance of self-care. But it’s during the stress of life transitions when we need it most. This article will focus on exploring practical ways to help you stay grounded, resilient and well in times of turmoil, including my favorite self-care practice you can do in five minutes.
Transitions are often stressful due to a variety of reasons. The biggest factor is uncertainty. When life gets upended, it can seem full of unknowns, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and fear of what lies ahead. During these times, there can be a focus on what is lost, how much there is to do, a looming fear of failure, external pressure, and internal doubt.
All of these feelings are normal. And when you have a better understanding of the reasons behind this stress, you can design effective strategies to navigate life changes more effectively.
Here’s why wellness matters in times of life transitions:
Builds a strong body: Movement, nutrition and sleep will keep your immune system robust;
Fosters a healthy mind: Wellness activities build emotional resilience and keep mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, in check; and
Invites a curious spirit: A strong body and healthy mind invites focus and productivity, leading to further exploration and a greater sense of purpose, which is critical as we age.
Incorporating wellness practices into your daily routine will not only help you handle life transition challenges, but thrive throughout the process.
But here’s the thing – wellness is personal and looks different for each of us. Let's take a look at the words wellness and well-being. These words are often used interchangeably, but there's definitely a distinction between the two.
I think of wellness as the choices we make and the actions we take that create our lifestyle. It's an ongoing journey that evolves over time.
Well-being is the experience of the positive wellness actions we take. It's how we feel as a result of our choices and actions. Just think about how you feel after a good workout, a walk in nature, or a solid night of sleep.
Optimal well-being is where you want to head directionally. It includes things like life satisfaction and happiness. It’s our overall engagement with life, which you can consider as your “wellth.”
To sum it up, wellness is what you do, well-being is how you feel as a result, and optimal well-being is the aspiration.
Here’s something else to note – wellness is fluid. It's a series of ongoing adjustments to the practices that keep you well. I’ve found that every five years or so, I make new choices. For example, my early-50s were all about endurance sports and increasing my aerobic capacity. But I’ve shifted toward strength, flexibility and balance – elements to keep me functional as I get older. So instead of cycling and running mile after mile on my own, I’m enjoying activities like CrossFit, kickboxing and hiking with my friends.
I also like to think of wellness as a form of self-respect. It’s the byproduct of when you honor yourself by embracing wellness as a vital and ongoing process of making choices to create a healthy, integrated and fulfilling life.
Regardless of your age or level of wellness, you can enhance your vitality and well-being by reconnecting with yourself and determining what’s important to you today. It's never too early nor too late to begin.
When we think of being well, we typically think of food and exercise. But there's a lot more to vitality. It’s not just the absence of disease, but a state of physical, mental and social well-being. So along with the elements of mind, body and spirit, don’t forget to include connection with your family, friends and community, as well as your environment.
Balance comes into play here. Underperforming in any of these areas will not achieve well-being. Conversely, overdoing one or several areas at the expense of the others can have adverse effects. So it follows that our daily micro-decisions are important and cumulative.
And this brings me to the main tenet of my wellness philosophy: The body's natural tendency is toward health and self-healing.
I once had a wellness professional on The Athena Wellness Podcast (Episode 79) who said, “When you cut your arm, you don't need to tell it how to heal.” That's what I mean by our natural state of wellness – trusting the body to self-regulate and doing all we can to support that process.
If our natural state of wellness is our starting point, we can think of wellness on a continuum, where we can move toward well-being or impaired wellness by the choices we make. Consistent healthy choices move us toward optimal well-being, while sub-optimal choices can move us toward chronic illness.
Before I get to some simple wellness strategies and a practice that can move you toward optimal well-being, let’s briefly connect this back to stress.
Stress moves you into the red zone toward chronic illness by something called the caveman response to danger or “fight or flight.” When we're in that state, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol and we're ready to take on the cause of danger or run from it. This is good, but we're rarely in acute danger.
Cortisol is also released when we're chronically stressed, and these chemicals have impact. They may result in headaches, tension, and pain in the neck, chest, and shoulders. It can cause rapid heartbeat, raised blood pressure, and anxiety. And all of these can lead to more chronic and critical health issues.
Now to the strategy and the practice. First the strategy. When you are stressed, the last thing you need is more stress, which is what you’ll create if you embark on a big wellness goal. My recommendation is this: In times of stress, find one thing that is calming – and routinely gift that to yourself.
You’re looking for something that will quiet the noise – something you can do each day for short periods of time to quell the inner and outer chatter. And the reason why this is so important is because it’s the only way to connect with your IPS – Internal Positioning System. Your IPS is like your car’s GPS, global positioning system, in that it helps you see exactly where you are so you can map to where you want to go.
Spending just a small amount of time in quiet, even using noise cancelling headphones in the middle of a busy city, can restore your nervous system, open channels to clearer thinking, and invite creativity.
Which leads me to a practice you can do in just five minutes a day. It’s a contemplative practice I call Hand Over Heart Breathing. This practice helped me find my still point when I was at my busiest in my corporate career. And it helped me listen to my inner wisdom for guidance. It’s safe to say I wouldn’t be doing the work I love to do today without this practice.
Here's how to do it:
Set your alarm for five minutes when you wake in the morning so you can lay right in bed.
Place your right hand over your heart and close your eyes.
Take a few deep breaths to relax.
Gently remind yourself there's nothing for you to do in this moment, there's no one to tend to, and there are no decisions to make.
Just be and enjoy the quiet of the present moment.
Should your mind drift, and it will, gently bring it back to how good it feels in the quiet.
And that's it. It sounds so simple, but it's incredibly soothing.
As we conclude, remember that transitions are a natural part of life and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed during these times. By having perspective on your wellness and including gentle wellness practices into your life, you can navigate these challenges with greater serenity, starting with just five minutes breathing with your hand over your heart.
And here’s the secret. What you’ll find is you want to be in that space more and the quiet and calm will expand over time to other areas of your life. You will naturally gravitate toward ease and begin to access to the wisest part of yourself.
So if you’re facing a career change, retirement or other significant life event, recognize the season of life you’re experiencing and do all you can to gently support yourself throughout your journey.
Journal Reflections: What is your biggest life stressor these days? What would bring you some peace and ease relating to that situation? What simple practice can you commit to trying?