Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part VII - Accountability
This is the seventh installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.
In Part VII of the series, we’ll be exploring the fifth Athena Principle, which is accountability, defined as a systematic way to check in with what you commit to accomplish, celebrate the wins, and compassionately adjust where needed.
Now I’ll admit, this isn’t the sexiest of the Principles. But accountability can be useful as you navigate any type of midlife transition. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and choices. It’s about being honest with yourself and setting realistic intentions. It’s also about a willingness to ask for help and support from others.
Accountability is a powerful determinant of whether or not your wellness intentions will be realized. If accountability is doing what we’ll say we’ll do, commitment is the obligation to do it. This includes having the tenacity to keep going when faced with failure and using mistakes as a way to continuously improve.
What I love about using this Principle at midlife is the qualities of accountability become critical as you make the transition to a new phase of life. Qualities that include things like being self-aware, creating healthy boundaries, tending to the self, protecting your energy, owning your feelings, placing no blame, and controlling your own fate.
As you continue to practice this Principle, you become the person who is self-motivated and collaborates with others – one who is dependable, self-reliant and has a positive attitude.
The core tenets of the Principle of Accountability are checking in on your progress, celebrating wins and adjusting where needed. Let’s take a look at each one:
Checking In
There are numerous ways to structure your check-in process. At a minimum, you’ll need to determine how and when to check-in with yourself. Here are some things to keep in mind as you structure your process:
Determine where you’ll record your daily progress, such as a notebook or planner, including what you do each day and how you feel.
Schedule a time in your calendar to perform a review each week.
During your weekly review, look for patterns that indicate what went well and what didn’t. Do you feel areas of resistance? Is there anything you can start or stop doing that will move you closer to realizing your intention?
Note how satisfied you are with your progress, the specific wellness results you achieved, and your level of overall improvement, remembering to give yourself credit for things that went well and practicing non-judgment when things didn’t go as planned.
Celebrating Wins
Celebrating wellness milestones releases endorphins and reinforces the building of healthy habits. When you celebrate, small victories become associated with good feelings and the body craves more of those feel-good chemicals, which strengthens the habit. In addition, self-efficacy, or the belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do, increases.
Both large and small milestones can be rewarded. The way you choose to reward yourself is up to you. It can be anything that makes you happy, including attending a special event, giving yourself a physical reward or gift, and/or spending time on a favorite activity.
Making Adjustments
There may be times when, despite your best efforts, you’re not seeing the results you initially envisioned. Here are some things to consider as you determine next steps:
How was your effort level? Did you give it your all or can you increase the intensity?
Were there changes in your situation that impacted your plans? What can be done to realign your schedule and support system?
Were your expectations too high? Did you try to take too large a step? Is it possible to break your task down into smaller actions? If so, what will be done and by when?
If you’re feeling good, is it possible to continue the effort while being less concerned with the end result?
Are you still interested in achieving this wellness milestone? It’s okay to redirect your energy if you’re not all in, as long as it doesn’t become a recurring practice.
Accountability Tools, Partners, and Community
Since willpower is a finite resource and stressors can further deplete your intent to stay on track, other techniques can be helpful to keep you accountable, including utilizing tools, finding an accountability partner and joining a community of interest.
You can mix and match elements from each category to create a support system that works for you to measure, track and adjust your progress. The type of support you choose will depend on your level of self-motivation, your comfort in sharing your plan with others, and your preference for solo or group activities.
Let’s take them one by one:
Utilizing tools – one or a combination of devices to keep you on track, ranging from analog to digital, to help with consistent focus and influence positive results. This includes planners, action logs, apps, wearables and virtual activities.
Finding an accountability partner – working with people who can hold you to your commitments and provide feedback and support, such as someone in your network or a trainer or coach.
Joining a community of interest – these are in-person or virtual groups that share a common interest and gather to exchange thoughts and ideas on a topic. New connections can provide encouragement, perspective, compatibility, advice, check-ins, and shared experiences.
The people we associate with influence our habits, both good and bad. Having a solid support system helps to lock in our accountability commitment and builds a sense of belonging.
Earlier in this article, I mentioned using rewards as a way to keep you accountable and celebrate wins. You can create a wellness rewards system to add a little fun and engagement to the equation. Try this:
Select an activity that can be rewarded. It can be a goal, an objective, or a series of behaviors (# of days or # of healthy activities over time)
Develop a list of rewards you enjoy or you find motivating:
Enjoyment rewards: Massage, sleep, spa day, new hairstyle, tattoo, piercing, afternoon in the hammock, artist date
Motivational rewards: New gear, premium streaming service for workouts, wellness date
Entertainment rewards: Concert, movie, art gallery, sports event, new book, binge-watching a favorite show
Friendship rewards: Weekend getaway with your partner, watching the sunrise, road tripping, walking on the beach, picnicking, bike riding, star gazing, hiking, friends gathering around the firepit or fireplace, volunteering
Enjoy the reward and determine the parameters for the next one!
Being accountable to yourself for what you really want is an empowering way to live. Your personal power will get a boost every time you own a success or a mistake, when you pause to celebrate a milestone, or when you adjust your plan and move forward on the path you’re carving out for yourself. By doing so, your self-trust increases as does your ability to model the positive behavior for others.
You are the result of all the daily decisions you make. Put another way, every day you are actively creating the person you will become. Are you living your truth? Are you giving yourself what you need right now? Are you mindfully choosing what to do and what not to do?
Navigating a midlife transition can be a challenging but rewarding experience. By using the Principle of accountability, you can make this time of change a positive one. Your future lies in the choices you make and actions you take today.
Journal Reflections: How does the word “accountable” feel for you? What are some new techniques you can explore to keep yourself accountable? How can you add elements of celebration to your wellness intentions?
Notes:
You can download The Athena Principles overview @ athenawellness.com/actionplan to help you chart your unique path.
If you prefer, you can listen to this article here: Episode 220