Reimagining Midlife Wellness, Part IV – Intention
This is the fourth installment of a multi-part series on Reimagining Midlife Wellness, focusing on the importance of strengthening our vitality as we get older, especially in times of transition. These articles will provide a framework to help you define what matters most to you at this stage of your life and ways to continue to take positive action to be well.
In Part IV of the series, we’ll be exploring the second Athena Principle, which is intention, defined as a way to help us aim, set direction and connect emotionally to what we want – it’s the heart-based “Why” behind the urge to transform.
Goals, resolutions, pledges, promises, vows – I’ve made them, and I’m guessing you have, too. We plan to eat better, move more, learn Italian, save money, start the business, travel internationally, clear out the clutter, write the book, learn to meditate, and volunteer more often, among many other tasks, in order to lead what we believe will be a better life. This is especially true as we anticipate what might be on the other side of a long-term career.
The moment we declare a new way forward, we typically feel a great amount of enthusiasm and momentum. As we begin to take action, however, it’s not unusual for that exhilaration to wane.
It’s estimated that less than 10 percent of New Year’s resolutions are achieved. The main reason for the low success rate is unrealistic outcome expectations, such as the speed and ease of achievement, that are not aligned with sustained effort. Self-help author Debbie Ford once wisely noted, “All of our suffering in life is from saying we want one thing and doing another.”
It goes without saying that midlife is a time of significant shifts and changes. But it’s also a great opportunity to reflect and implement changes that will provide a future filled with happiness and vitality. And intention is a wonderful tool to help navigate such midlife transitions.
So what’s the difference between a goal, and all of its synonyms, and an intention?
A goal is defined as “the end toward which effort is directed.” Goals are future-oriented and focused on achievement. They reflect how we want to show up at a later date in our outer world.
An intention is defined as “a determination or resolve to act in a certain way.” Intentions are rooted in the present and focused on living in alignment with beliefs and values. They reflect how we feel in our inner world.
The reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail is that they are usually goal-driven, with a focus on results and external rewards. Often, resolutions are not aligned with a strong internal desire, but instead with a sense of what should be done or wanted. The mindset of “succeed or fail” further adds stress to an already taxing behavioral change – which may lead to failure.
Intentions are more forgiving. They honor the effort expended and the process embarked upon. They are designed for long-term change, as they are connected to the authentic self and, most importantly, contain the “Why” behind the desired change – perfect for making a life course correction. And since they connect with our sense of worthiness, intentions lend themselves to self-compassionate action.
Setting clear intentions is akin to creating a personal roadmap for ourselves, which is especially helpful in midlife when we can feel unsure and adrift. When we intentionally chart our way forward by getting clear on our “Why,” it’s easier to stay on track and in alignment with what we truly want for ourselves.
Your “Why” keeps you going when you’re feeling depleted, frustrated or tired. Your “Why” allows you to identify what’s at stake for you personally if you don’t make the change. Your “Why” is your deep motivation – it clarifies how you want to show up in the world. Once you know your “Why,” the path forward (what, how, when, where, with whom) becomes more apparent. You realize flexibility is your friend and there are a variety of routes to get to your intended outcome.
Now to your takeaway. Here’s a four-step process for setting an intention along with an intention I’m working with during this series:
1. Quietly check-in with yourself and see what change you’d like to cultivate. Look at your strengths, values, passions and things that bring you joy. You can think back to Part I of this series to the contemplation questions we worked with or to the PDF download in Part II of this series that included the Holistic Wellness Spectrum for some ideas.
o If you’re unsure where to start, consider what matters most to you at this stage of life.
o Here are some additional prompt questions:
- What do you like to learn about?
- What do you like to create?
- Is there something to start or stop doing?
- When do you feel in flow?
- Where does your heart feel full and aligned?
- What would you like to nurture?
- What nourishes you?
- What do you like to build?
- For whom and for what do you feel gratitude?
o Here’s my intention: I’m grateful for my health at midlife and want to learn more about the impact of exercise and nutrition on aging and update my routines accordingly.
2. Select an impactful change that resonates deeply with you and is important to make now. Be positive and keep the statement in the present tense. Here’s mine: I’m interested in learning how to challenge my body as I age while treating it with care.
o Make sure it’s something you want to do rather than appease other people’s expectations. Mine is: When I don’t eat well and move my body, I can feel some stiffness in the morning that I’d like to proactively alleviate.
o Consider this: What is the underlying motivation? For me, I want to learn how to move and nourish my body better at this stage in my life.
o Another consideration: Are you enthused to spend your time and energy on it? For me, I know there isn’t a life hack that will help me stay fit as I get older and I want to learn how to help myself stay healthy in the long-term in an enjoyable way.
3. Determine the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical benefits of attaining your intention and keep your intention fluid enough to evolve and grow. For me, I know I will feel better physically, but I believe the benefits of eating better and moving more will positively impact my stress levels, sleep patterns and overall level of serenity.
4. Take action. Now that you have a high-level idea of how the intention will unfold, develop a series of manageable actions that you can begin to take immediately. For me, this week I’m going to try a new living foods recipe, take my runs outside and do two CrossFit like workouts at home to add strength, flexibility and balance training to my running routine.
In summary, midlife wellness and transitions can be challenging, but intentions can help you stay positive and on track. Intentions (your “Why”) are seeds of creation, providing clarity to point you in the right direction to attain what you most desire, making it easier to see possibilities and opportunities. Intentions allow you to release what no longer serves to make space for what matters most.
I hope this article helped you see that intentions can help you create your next chapter, including how you want to feel when you wake, go to work, spend time with your family and friends, contribute to the community, nurture yourself and lay your head down at night. Intentions can also help you dream big and act in accordance with your deepest desires.
Consider this your call to action.
Journal Reflections: How do you view goals versus intention? What situation might lend itself to setting an intention? How could you utilize the four-step process to set that intention?
Notes:
You can download The Athena Principles overview @ athenawellness.com/actionplan to help you chart your unique path.
If you prefer, you can listen to this article here: Episode 217