Inviting New Life Experiences

One of my favorite topics to explore with students and clients is how to discover and explore a broad range of interests in both work and play.

Why is this important? I've come to learn that creating a purposeful life based on what you love starts with learning how to spend time doing the things that bring you joy. And if you're anything like me, the many years you've spent building a career may have disconnected you from these activities and this feeling.

Carving out the time to explore doesn’t happen overnight. But when you start to make room, even a little bit, you’ll find delight in the discovery process as you cast a wide net to find the people, places and activities that call to you, whether they make logical sense to you at this stage or not. Being open to new and exciting experiences is part of living wholeheartedly. It becomes a new way of life.

Transcending Imaginary Cages

A story I frequently share is about a white tiger named Mohini who lived in the Washington D.C. National Zoo. For years, the tiger lived in a typical 12 by 12-foot enclosure with iron bars and a cement floor, spending her days pacing the cage. When her handlers finally gave her more space, they created an enclosure that spanned several acres and included vegetation, water and hills to wander.

But when the tiger was released into this expanse, she didn't spend her days roaming throughout the new space. Instead, she found a corner of the compound where she lived out her life pacing in a 12 by 12-foot area until the grass was worn.

Doesn’t this image snap you back to the times when you felt trapped in imaginary cages that you unconsciously built comprised of old patterns, beliefs or fears?

Permission to Dream Big

How do you begin to dream bigger? It can be helpful to revisit the past by spending some quiet time reflecting on your journey. You can do this by thumbing through old journals or pictures. Think of it as research (or me-search). Look for the decision points and actions you’ve taken along the way. As you connect the dots of major life events, you’ll see how you’ve naturally set intentions throughout your life and then taken steps to create your own path in that general direction.

As we mature, we can fall into a dreamless groove, thinking we’re too old or have too many responsibilities to focus on steps toward the life of our dreams. Here are seven ideas to be more intentional and get some dream momentum going…

How to Create Space in Your Life

Last month, I cleared boxes of outdated financial files. They had accumulated over the years in my basement, neatly boxed and labeled. I shredded them over a number of days, bagged up the output, and took a carload to the recycling center. When I got home, I was amazed at how light I felt. Why? Because I created space for the new by clearing out the old.

It took me a while but I finally realized what I was really sorting through when I cleared those boxes: old habits, my history and outdated dreams. It was all a reminder that the past was gone and I was mindfully creating space to move forward toward something new.

Why We Practice

I recently read a story about a series of journals a mother left her daughter, all of which were blank. The book, which is titled When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams, is a reconciliation of this experience and her mother’s death, along with an exploration of what it means to have a voice, what suppresses it, and what's left in the wake of its void.

About halfway through, I closed the book and felt intense gratitude for the dozens, maybe hundreds – I've never counted – of notebooks that I've filled over the last 30 plus years in a way I never appreciated before. I've always had the impulse to write, but never paused to consider why.

And in that moment, I realized it didn't matter what happened to those notebooks. It was the act of writing, the process, the practice, the ritual of picking up a pen and expressing my unique view, if only to myself. It has led me on a well-documented path of self-discovery and growth.

What is Creative Living?

I took a walk on a warm afternoon a few weeks ago, listening to an audiobook by musician Jeff Tweedy titled How to Write One Song. I was drawn to it not only because I've been listening to his music for more than 25 years, but because during that time, he's allowed us to witness his growth as an artist, from early beginnings to flashes of brilliance to commercial challenges.

The book is part memoir and part how-to, as he gives us insight into the mystery of songwriting, of taking personal insights scribbled in a notebook and musical ideas, and then alchemizing them into a transcendental shared experience. But aside from the songwriting process, he talks a lot about how he structured his life to support this thing he loved to do.

It has also led to deep conversations with my writing friends on what it means to live a creative life. We agree that it’s not just for artists. It's about life engagement. It’s daily choices and actions that uniquely shape a life. It's following what intrigues you, whether it makes logical sense or not. It's being open to unique problem-solving opportunities, and a willingness to be in full contact with your life.

If Not Now, When?

It's a new year and I have to say 2023 is feeling different already. And in a really good way. It feels purposeful and dynamic. There's a quality of aliveness to it, as well as a sense of promise and possibility. It feels like being at base camp just below the final ascent of a long journey.

This enthusiasm is tempered by reminders that time is passing. My father turned 101 a few days ago. While he has enjoyed robust health his entire life, we can see Father Time finally catching up with him on the final predetermined lap. And there have been a number of family and friends, some half his age, who are struggling with health issues or have recently passed.

While these situations can bring sadness, they also prompt action and inspire reflection…

Some Thoughts on New Year's Resolutions

Ahhh, the blank slate of a new year. A time for looking back with appreciation, looking forward with intention, and perhaps, making New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions get a bad rap. We’ve all seen the dire statistics of those who don’t keep resolutions past the end of January. But many do keep them and can experience life-changing outcomes as a result.

Writer and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” It’s in that spirit that I want to work with New Year intentions – as a helpful tool to guide me off my well-worn path onto one more that’s more compelling, one that is truly my own. If there’s an overall theme for me for 2023, it’s “Create Your Own Path.”

Ebb Tides and Renewal

December is an interesting month filled with ebbs and flows. Many of us are in the middle of the holiday season filled with preparation. Perhaps we have plans to take some time off in the coming weeks. From a business perspective, many are wrapping up the quarter and the year.

It doesn’t feel like a time to start something new – which is where my Type A self thrives – in the flow. Instead, it’s more a Type Be ebb time, focused on completion, reflection and renewal.

Planning for 2023 the 'From Type A to Type Be' Way

I love the blank slate of a brand new year. It’s a creative time to imagine what might be in the months ahead.

My process has evolved over the years, as I’ve written about in The Athena Principles, gradually shifting from goal-oriented to intention-driven planning. And that evolution is ongoing as I shift From Type A to Type Be, learning to rely less on my logical intellect and more on my intuitive heart.

I’ve been playing with ideas on how this evolution might impact how I go about planning for the upcoming new year. What does heart-based planning look like?

Creating Space in Times of Transition

I’ve been reflecting on a conversation I had with a friend recently. We both feel an undercurrent of change in our individual personal lives and in the world at large. It’s almost as if we're on the edge of a big shift.

A number of our loved ones and friends are undergoing big life transitions, some even navigating their end of life journey. So there's a lot of movement underfoot. It's real. It's sobering. And it's life.

Maybe what's on the other side of walking loved ones to the end of their lives is a rebirth for us. And I'm finding that it's time well spent to reflect and make changes now so when it is my time to leave this earth, I can do so without regret.

Small Steps, Big Strides

I hit a fitness milestone at CrossFit a few weeks back. Part of the workout that day included five sets of seven burpee to pull-up moves. That means hitting the floor with your hands in an all-out sprawl, chest to ground and then using the momentum of the push-up to jump your feet back into a squat position. From there, you spring up, grab an overhead bar and perform a jumping pull-up before jumping back down and repeating the exercise for the required number of reps.

Why am I sharing this? Because before I turned 58-years-old, I couldn’t even dream of pulling myself up once, never mind 35 times in a workout as I did that day. So what changed? Consistent small steps…

How to Create Your Next Life Phase Through Play

At the height of my corporate career, the predominant life coaching advice was to invite more play into your life. That never resonated for me. I tried. Remember the adult coloring book phase of the 20-teens? For me, it had the opposite effect. It felt like a complete waste of time.

But here’s the thing – I’ve learned that we don’t all play the same way.

The Importance of Gathering

Does this situation sound familiar? You’re attending a wake or funeral service chatting with relatives you haven’t seen since, well, the last service for a relative who died. You spend time catching up and as you leave, you find yourself saying something like… “We must get together soon.” You mean it when you say it. But back home and in the flow of life, it never materializes.

This recently happened to me when a cousin of my mom’s passed. He was 85 and a treasured member of our family. As I was uploading pictures to the funeral parlor’s website in preparation for his service, I smiled recalling all the good times these cousins shared in their later years, whether on vacation or at each other’s homes. But then I was struck that almost all of the members of the generation that preceded me, including my mom, have passed. Somehow the kids became the elders.

And I got see these “kids” – all of my second cousins from Brooklyn – when I attended that May funeral. I was amazed at how easily the conversation flowed with people I hadn’t seen in a long time. And I vowed that we’d see each other before the next wake. That reunion happened last week.

The Propulsion of a True Decision

In the September 1st blog, The Birth of a Rite of Passage, I shared my desire to commemorate my 60th birthday in 2024 in an impactful way. I could feel a new adventure begin to form, a mindful quest to help me embody this new decade.

And without warning, I woke on a Sunday morning a few weeks back and just knew – I would be roadtripping to Alaska for 3 ½ months in 2024.

I ended the post by quoting podcast guest Sara Harris who said, “Making the decision to commit to the vision quest, when you say ‘Yes’ – it begins.” And that certainly feels true. I feel like I’m “in it,” like the experience has been launched. But there’s more…

The Birth of a Rite of Passage

There’s a big life milestone on my horizon – I turn 60 in 2024. I start thinking about occasions like this about two years out. It gives me time to plan how I’d like to quietly commemorate the event in a way that’s deeply meaningful for me.

I have to admit, it’s kinda mindboggling that I’m approaching a new decade. I feel younger in mind, body and spirit than I have at any other time in my adult life – just brimming with vitality. But 60?!

In Japan, the 60th birthday is special, as it’s believed that the celebrant begins a new circle of life. It’s traditionally commemorated by wearing red – kimonos for women, vests and hats for men. It’s believed to be a time of rebirth and the color red symbolizes protection. Red gifts are usually given to babies and expectant mothers, making this midlife rebirth all the more celebratory – a beautiful rite of passage.

The Metamorphic Journey From ‘Type A’ to ‘Type Be’ (And How It Can Transform Your Life)

You’re a high achieving, successful businessperson. When something important needs to get done with top quality, people come to you. In fact, you’ve built your career on producing and delivering results without fail, year after year.

But as we know, there’s a shadow side to the Type A behavior that builds thriving careers. Certainly there are physical impacts from the constant sense of urgency that pushes us onto the next thing and then the next. But there are mental, emotional and even spiritual impacts that, if left unattended, can lead to varying degrees of burnout.

I know, I’ve been there. And it’s hard to step off the spinning treadmill of productivity when you’re on it. In fact, that’s what led me to wellness. A vacation in the Alaskan wilderness almost 20 years ago gave me the distance and stillness I needed to understand that it was time to make a change and leave Wall Street. I began to get curious on how I might live differently, even as I continued to juggle professional career stressors with personal life expectations and desires.

But the real change – the most transformative shift of my life – started when I began to question my Type A lifestyle. Was there a kinder approach to getting things done without sacrificing the quality and productivity I consistently delivered? A modification or adaptation? I found the answer to be a resounding “Yes!”

Pondering the Universe From a Beach Chair

Last month I spent some time at one of my favorite beaches with some of my favorite people, including my twin great nieces who are five years old. Everything is a wonder and a delight at that age. It’s miraculous to witness the world through their eyes.

Around that time, we humans also got some new eyes as well. Infrared ones attached to a $10 billion, multi-decade project named the James Webb Space Telescope or JWST. The initial images that were shared mid-July were stunning and just a taste of what’s to follow.

It gave me a lot to ponder as I sat on my beach chair looking up at the unobstructed sky. Somewhere above me, the JW observatory floated a million miles away as it orbited around the sun. Three things came to mind…

12 Things to Consider If You're Thinking About Leaving Your Corporate Gig

I can remember it so clearly. It was about a month before I was planning to tell the Board of my decision to retire. Getting ready for work one morning, I froze with fear. It was gripping and it stopped me in my tracks.

The mental cacophony was relentless: “This is a life impacting decision. You’re throwing away more than three decades of work. Are you crazy?!”

Then a funny thing happened. A complete sense of calm permeated my body. The shift from anxiety to serenity was jolting. The mental chatter gave way to a series of matter-of-fact statements: “It’s time to embark on a new journey. You’ve been preparing your whole life for this. You’re fully capable of whatever lies ahead.”

In the wake of this brief moment, my energy felt peaceful, quiet and still. As I replayed the reassuring words in my head, they felt supportive and encouraging, and the tone resonated as truth. That moment happened in 2018. The fear never returned and the calmness has remained.

Do you feel overwhelmed with fear whenever you allow yourself to daydream about leaving corporate life behind? The good news is that we now live in a time when it’s completely acceptable to reassess our careers and what work means for us. But what’s the right decision for you?

Retirement is a Verb

Have you ever had one of those days when seemingly disparate thought streams keep swirling around in your head?

Like you, I’ve been trying to make sense of national and world affairs, feeling the unending waves of change and tragedy. Also occupying my mind these days is the unfolding of a new horizon of my work, which is focused on helping professionals who are contemplating leaving corporate life and those who have recently retired find meaning and purpose in this current stage of life.

To distract myself from all of this mental busyness, I listened to a favorite podcast while running errands early one morning. A guest was recounting a story of a decision a man made more than five decades prior to volunteer one hour of his time each week for a cause that deeply affected him. Through that one hour of pro bono legal work, the guest’s father was able to provide an upbringing for his children that he would not have been able to if it weren’t for that lawyer’s donated time. And one of those children, the man who was telling the story, dedicated his life to public service and currently serves as a U.S. senator.

That’s when all of my mental chatter converged and I realized that retirement is a verb.

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