Creating Space in Times of Transition
I’ve been reflecting on a conversation I had with a friend recently. We both feel an undercurrent of change in our individual personal lives and in the world at large. It’s almost as if we're on the edge of a big shift.
A number of our loved ones and friends are undergoing big life transitions, some even navigating their end of life journey. So there's a lot of movement underfoot. It's real. It's sobering. And it's life.
In my younger years, my natural reaction in times like these would have been to hold on tight, to control outcome as much as possible, and to batten down the hatches in anticipation of rough weather. But this time I find myself doing the opposite with a focus on letting go – of long term plans, of things that no longer serve, and of old habits.
It's not that I don't have a compelling life vision that I'm excited about. I do. And I'm excited about the years ahead. But how I get there and when I get there hold much less importance.
Sometimes it takes the bittersweet experience of seeing your father age or your friend prepare to leave this physical plane to bring things into perspective in your own life. And I'm feeling like this is a time of deep examination and deep appreciation for the life that I get to live today.
Maybe what's on the other side of walking loved ones to the end of their lives is a rebirth for us. And I'm finding that it's time well spent to reflect and make changes now so when it’s my time to leave this earth, I can do so without regret.
Learning from experience and living to the fullest seem to be emerging themes as the new year draws closer. It’s yet another deepening layer of living wholeheartedly. I’ve been working with these themes for a few months. Here's a glimpse into how it all began to unfold.
Back in August when I learned of a friend's decision to forgo further cancer treatment, I made it a practice to sit outside on my deck sipping my coffee early each morning. I began to think about what it would be like if I learned I only had a few months left to live. This led me to pick up my journal and make a mind map of what I desired at this stage of my life.
A mind map is a freeform diagram used to brainstorm in order to find new connections. And for me, it frees up the structure of formal writing and it allows me to be open to inspiration and surprise.
For the first few mornings, I just sat with my journal, mapping out different ideas of how I desired to live my days. When the page was filled, I picked a thread that I found compelling and I explored it further on a clean page. Eventually, I came up with three themes I wanted to work with and created related actions to keep me focused on what mattered most to me today and my future.
For me, it came down to these three things:
The purpose of life, which is exemplified by love, through honoring the depth and sacredness of relationship with ourselves, with others, with spirit, and with the natural world;
The fuel of life, which is exemplified by creativity, through honoring the full expression of the self and who I am meant to be in this world; and
The game of life, by exemplifying how I live in this sensory physical world, through the way I show up each day.
And here are three things that I can do in relation to these things that matter to me:
For purpose, or love, I can practice presence, kindness and love to myself and others;
For fuel, or creativity, I can continuously fill my well of creative inspiration; and
For the game of life, or manifestation, I can have fun moving the game piece forward each day.
What this exercise showed me was that no matter the challenge, it's about keeping perspective and a light spirit in facing it. And what I'm finding is I want to clear out as much of the physical, mental and emotional noise and clutter that no longer serves where I'm headed to create space in my life for what truly adds meaning and value.
And creating space is the first step on the path of moving From Type A to Type Be.
Here’s my invitation for you: Explore what you most desire and create space for it.
Here are the five steps that I followed:
Set aside a bit of time to go to your favorite place with a journal. Maybe it's somewhere in your home, a local cafe, or a drive to a place with a wonderful view.
Turn to a clean page and in the middle of it write, “What do I desire?” and draw a circle around that phrase.
Spend some time free associating, following your trail of thought, noting all the people, places, activities and experiences that fuel you.
When that feels complete, take a look at your notes and find a few items you feel compelled to explore further.
Create a few simple actions that you can do each day to begin to incorporate these elements into your life.
I hope you'll share with me what you discover through this process. Just send me a note at hello@AthenaWellness.com.
And I'll continue to share what I'm learning with you. I feel like I'm in the early stages of a new adventure, heading off into uncharted territory. And the way I've prepared for journeys before in my life will not serve me now.
This is about finding new ways to move forward. And in doing so, finding deeper means of expression, of discovery, and of relationship. So when my time comes, I'll leave this world with the knowledge that I lived life to the fullest. And as my fellow New Jerseyian sang, “I did it my way.”
Journal Reflections: If you knew you were coming to the end of your life, would you have any regrets? Would there be things you desired to do and didn’t? How might you create the space to invite the things that hold the most meaning and value for you today?