Inviting New Life Experiences

One of my favorite topics to delve into with students and clients is how to discover and explore a broad range of interests in both work and play.

Why is this important?  I've come to learn that creating a purposeful life based on what you love starts with learning how to spend time doing the things that bring you joy.  This is easier said than done. If you're anything like me, the many years you've spent building a career may have disconnected you from such activities and feelings.

Carving out the time to explore doesn’t happen overnight.  But when you start to make room, even a little bit, you’ll find delight in the discovery process as you cast a wide net to find the people, places and activities that call to you, whether they make logical sense to you at this stage or not.  Being open to new and exciting experiences is part of living wholeheartedly.  It becomes a new way of life.

As an added bonus, it’s been established that learning can change our brain chemistry for the better by improving cognitive connections and adaptability to change.  Because learning new things about interesting topics helps us stay relevant and engaged, it also fuels enthusiasm, especially if you're building this learning into your everyday life.  Daily learning keeps us curious and can lead us outside of our comfort zone to an overall richer, more creative life experience.

As an example, in her book, Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert tells the story of her friend, Susan, who prioritized her curiosity over fear and re-engaged with her inner adolescent who loved figure skating.  Susan quit skating as a teen when she determined she didn't have enough talent to be competitive.

But as her 40th birthday approached, Susan found herself feeling lethargic, yet restless and asked herself, "When was the last time I truly felt joyous?"  And the answer was when she was ice skating as a teenager.

So, she hired a coach, bought some skates, and three mornings a week, she got up before sunrise to head to the rink before going to work.  She was the only adult on the ice surrounded by lots of girls with big dreams.  And she found she loved it.

This didn't mean that her inner critic didn't have its say that it was a self-indulgent and ridiculous idea to entertain.  She heard it and she did it anyway.  And she kept doing it because it was something that brought her alive.  And that vitality spilled into other parts of her life as she continued, and continues, to skate several mornings a week for the pure joy of it.

And now to you.  What will expand and amplify your life?  And how might that energy spill over and inform other aspects of daily living?

If you’re unsure how to answer those questions, start with your curiosity.  By its very nature, when you’re curious, your logical brain gets to take a backseat while your heart gets to lead.  The paths you begin to follow don't need to make sense, just like figure skating didn't make sense to anyone else but the 40-year-old skater.

Here's a little exercise to get you started:

• In your journal, divide a page into four sections labeled: people, places, things and activities.  Set aside five or 10 minutes and write down whatever comes to mind.  Who do you admire or are your favorite people?  Where do you or would you like to go?  What is your prized or coveted possession?  What do you or would you love to do?  When you come to a stopping point, put it aside, but come back to it frequently, recording more ideas as they come to you.

• Once you develop a nice inventory, spend a little quiet time reflecting on it.  Are there common themes?  Can you find some connections?  Which ones are really aligned with your heart and not your head?

• This is where your feelings come into play, because the things that once made you feel alive may no longer do so.  What feels nourishing and life-affirming to you now?  And how do you want to feel while engaged in them?

How you want to feel is an amazing incentive for behavior change and life transformation.  Keep in mind that in the beginning, you won't wake up each day and feel exactly the way you outlined in this exercise.  But the output from this exercise can act as a guidepost to make you aware of when you're in integrity with your life desire and when you're out of alignment.

Over time, you'll be able to navigate in the direction of a life that you're shaping intentionally.  Be flexible and understand that there are a variety of routes to get you to your intended outcome.  This will help you enjoy the journey as you set out and take those first steps, keeping you focused on heading in the right direction toward what matters most and releasing what no longer serves to make space for what's on its way to you.

Creating a purposeful life is a fluid process and it's an ongoing one as well.  It’s about living deliberately and authentically and gently moving toward the person you want to become, enjoying the journey as much as the destination, which starts with doing the things that light you up.

What inspires you? Do you want to feel adventurous, powerful, present, calm, free, engaged, alive? You get to choose.

I’ll leave you with the words of Eleanor Roosevelt who is credited with saying, “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste it, to experience it to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Journal Reflections:  What are some activities that you enjoyed in your youth?  When was the last time you tried them?  How might you incorporate some of that joy into your life today?