The Parallel Path Strategy: How to Explore Your Deepest Desires in Midlife
When you spend years building a successful career, you learn to trust one thing: the continuous ascent. You master the sprint, strategize for the long game, and enjoy the achievement that comes in its wake. But what happens when that climb no longer feels compelling?
After several decades in the corporate world, I made it to the top of my profession as the Chief Audit Executive for a Fortune 250 company. I thought I had it made. But after a few years, in quiet moments, I had to admit that even though I enjoyed the view from this career apex – the one I worked so hard for – it was no longer satisfying.
As I look back, I realize that this disconnect was quietly building behind all of the travel, meetings and deadlines. And I’ve found that many successful women encounter this mismatch in midlife.
This isn’t something to dread. The restlessness you may be feeling isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of growth. Think of it as an invitation – a permission slip – to shed the rules that no longer fit and start walking a path that’s truly your own, beyond the unspoken constraint of success.
The non-stop pace of professional life does more than exhaust your body and mind. It builds a life structure that can become difficult to exit. It’s a huge accomplishment to reach and sustain a targeted level of success. But the elements of that realization – the title, compensation and stability – can act as a constraint on the deep desires that arise in midlife.
That’s because in order to perform and excel consistently, we need to create a support system that demands our continuous focus, leaving little time for anything else. What falls by the wayside is our own wellbeing, spiritual and emotional renewal, and preparing for the next phase of life with the same level of focus as our current life demands.
This feeling of being trapped by your own achievement is the paradox known as the Golden Handcuffs. Before we explore this puzzle, let’s be clear – it’s a privilege to be in the position of achieving what you set out to do and then deciding you’d like to try something else. That said, when you’re in the middle of such a situation, it can be hard to get the clarity needed to move forward. And that necessary clarity can be further obscured if you’re suddenly downsized and displaced.
But how do you honor your success while exploring your long-term desires, before the decision is made for you?
When you began your corporate career, you most likely had a view as to what success meant to you. Whatever route you chose, the first half of your career included some type of climb up toward a faraway peak. Now that you’ve achieved your major career goals, you can see from this vantage point, that it was more of long, winding road than a straight line ascent.
With that wisdom, we can relax into the notion that the second half of life doesn’t need to include sudden ascent or risky leaps. It can be an enjoyable path that you design with intention – one that honors your experience, desires and the complexity of your whole self.
What’s the difference? A climb is rigid, focused solely on vertical progress. A path can weave throughout a vast landscape of exploration, where you get to choose your own pace and your own destination.
Your next life chapter hike can include small hills that build physical endurance, deep valleys that offer time for reflection, and long stretches of flat, beautiful terrain where you can simply observe the world and reconnect with your spirit. This is about finding true alignment and making your desired life your reality.
The most effective way to begin to incorporate some of these concepts into your busy life is by using the Parallel Path Strategy.
It takes time to connect and realign with your true life desires. And your life and career won’t stop to allow for the contemplation. That’s why so many professionals don’t even know what their deep life desires are, never mind coming up with a plan to move toward it.
But the beautiful thing about your decades of corporate success is that you are perfectly equipped for this multi-tasking transition. And that briefcase of high-value skills you collected? With a little refinement, they’ll be perfect as you outfit your new life skill backpack.
Let’s explore examples of how you might take a current business skill and retool it to add to your pack – even as you continue to deliver on your current personal and professional demands and commitments.
Grab a pen and paper and find a little quiet time to reflect on three ways to begin to repurpose your professional rigor for your desired life:
From Strategic Planning to Strategic Pacing: You excel at developing and executing professional strategic goals, so apply that same discipline to your personal bandwidth. Begin to strategically schedule short "recovery time" or "low-demand blocks" into your calendar—not to replace a meeting, but to ensure you have the mental and physical space required to sustain your high performance without depleting your spirit. Then begin to shift those blocks of time to explore your next life chapter desires that surface during these quiet times.
From Discipline to Intentionality: You also have the focus and diligence to execute complex plans. Bring to mind a heart-centered intention for your well-being right now—maybe it’s more movement, quiet reflection, or time to connect with nature. How might you invoke your professional discipline to build a reliable system that supports this intention, so you can attend to this commitment with the same unwavering focus you apply to meeting quarterly targets.
From Risk Assessment to Authentic Action: You’ve analyzed and mitigated business risk across complex organizational landscapes for years. Now turn that strategic lens inward and apply it to your most critical asset – you. Consider the true long-term risk of not living the life you yearn for – what’s the toll on your body, mind and spirit? Then compare this internal, unmitigated cost to the external, quantifiable risks of maintaining the status quo. How does it compare? Now apply the same thought process to stepping off your current career path. What’s the riskier choice?
For many years, maintaining the status quo was the logical choice for me, because it gave me the opportunity to explore my life desires while navigating my parallel path, that is, what I did for a living and what I’d like to do for a living. This is not a quick process. It took me years. But there came a tipping point when the desire to leave was greater than wanting to stay. And because I did some deep contemplation and preparation, I was ready when it was time.
The journey you’re starting now is not a retreat from your past success, but an intentional evolution of it. You have the experience and the wisdom to design your own path forward — one that’s rich, satisfying and authentically yours.
All of your past successes are your key to future freedom. Turn your finely tuned analytical lens on yourself to create that parallel path forward. The first step off the corporate ladder is simply choosing presence. Find that quiet space today and just listen.
Journal Reflections: How does the idea of a parallel path make you feel? How might you begin to create pockets of time to explore your next chapter desires? What corporate skills can you leverage to start the process?
P.S. If you’re ready to begin walking your parallel path, I've created a special gift just for you! It’s a guide called 5 Questions to Explore a Soulful Second Chapter. It contains the type of reflective work that gave me the courage to make my midlife transition. You can download it for free at athenawellness.com/reimagine.
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