The Power of a Reverse Bucket List
Some of my biggest lessons have come from spending time with loved ones who were at the end of life. Each time, the experience was different, as unique as the person who was transitioning.
Many who have had the honor to bear witness at such times come away with a different vantage point about their own life. Some have a better understanding of love and forgiveness. For others, the impermanence of life is impactful. And for many, it’s about leaving this plane with no regrets.
In the wake of such an experience, it’s not unusual to take the proverbial bucket list approach to life. A bucket list is an itemized inventory of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. It focuses on what hasn’t yet been achieved and can be used to keep track of things we want to do when there’s more time or resources.
Of course, what can happen is that the perfect moment never arrives or a person can run out of vitality or time before getting to the items on the list. And even when items are methodically checked off, satisfaction can be brief, lasting until another item on the list becomes the focus. This is what gives bucket lists a quality of “I’ll be happy when…”
Enter the reverse bucket list, which can act like a roadmap for a life filled with lasting satisfaction and meaning.
A reverse bucket list, as the name implies, focuses us on the things we have already experienced and accomplished, both big and small. It acts like a highlight reel of feel good memories or purposeful moments.
Here are a few of the numerous benefits of creating a reverse bucket list:
It inspires gratefulness and a sense of accomplishment. In the busyness of life, it can be easy to get caught up in the daily grind. This exercise is a lovely way to reflect on your successes and celebrate all the good that has already come your way, which can be a great boost to your self-esteem and motivation.
It can help you identify what matters most. When you reflect on what makes you feel good in your life, it’s easier to eliminate the noise and clutter, removing the less meaningful things with ease.
It can help you to focus on the positive. It can be easy to lapse into a negative mindset that emphasizes what has gone wrong or what needs to be done. This exercise can help you mindfully accentuate an optimistic attitude, which can increase your well-being.
· It can help you develop clarity on your future. Once you have reflected on all of your accomplishments, you can start to think about what you want to achieve in the future. This exercise is a great starting point for connecting with deep desires and setting intentions to spend your time in a way that brings you closer to your future vision.
Creating a reverse bucket list is easy. Here are four steps to get you started:
Set aside some reflection time. It took me about 15 minutes to come up with an initial list of 50 items.
Create a list of meaningful moments. These items can be anything from big milestones to small everyday accomplishments and blessings.
Group these moments into categories. You might use chronological decades or life categories, such as personal or professional.
Reflect on your meaningful moments list. How do you feel when you take it all in? What stands out the most? Are there themes or gaps? What didn’t make the list that surprised you? What did you learn? How did you grow as a result?
Here are some examples of what you can include on your list:
Personal accomplishments such as graduation, marriage, having children, buying a house, changing an unhealthy habit, writing a book, an artistic or athletic feat, a spiritual quest or a travel experience.
Professional accomplishments such as landing a new job, getting promoted, giving a presentation, winning an accolade, publishing a paper or starting a business.
Relationship accomplishments such as investing quality time to build strong relationships with loved ones, expanding your circle of friends, forgiving past hurts, being of service or spending time on a meaningful cause.
Personal growth accomplishments such as learning a new skill, committing to a new wellness practice, overcoming a challenge or fear, developing self-compassion or trying something new to expand your own boundaries.
The 15 minutes I spent to come up with my initial list was enough time for a good start, but it’s by no means a representative list. That said, what surprised me wasn’t what was on the list. The value for me was the time reflecting on what stood out the most.
I felt a sense of accomplishment, pride and gratitude for what I achieved and the experience I’ve been fortunate to have so far. But what held the most meaning was the process that got me to those pinnacle moments.
Here are a few examples:
It wasn’t the shiny family milestones we carefully prepared for and documents with photos. It was the love and connection instilled in us, the boisterous celebrations, and the feeling that we were held together by qualities passed down through the generations·
It wasn’t the career trajectory I enjoyed for more than three decades. It was about those who helped me and who I was able to help in return.
It wasn’t holding the first book I published in my hands. It was the memory of writing it at 4am and feeling like I was living a writer’s life before heading off to my day job.
It wasn’t crossing the finish line of a 50k race, the farthest I had ever run in 54 years. It was the months of training and discipline and all I learned about myself along the way.
It wasn’t the iconic places I visited during all the years of travel throughout my career. It was about a kid from New Jersey raised with modest means who never traveled before getting a job that required a passport and how that expanded my awareness and forever altered my perception of the world.
If I had to summarize – it was about the true intrinsic gifts in life that engage and energize –the everyday moments of connection, intimacy and beauty.
That’s some return on investment for a 15 minutes exercise. So much so that I intend to continue adding and refining my list with a focus on what has brought me true happiness, what I enjoyed, what was meaningful, what created positive emotions, and what added to my well-being and quality of life. What a great way to mindfully continue to foster that contentment and growth.
I hope you’ll give the reverse bucket list exercise a try to inspire gratitude for your life journey with all its twists and turns. Beyond the sense of accomplishment and focus on the positive, this exercise can give you valuable insight and perspective on how you’re using your most precious resource – your time.
It’s a practice that will help you better understand what brought you to this point in your life and empower you to mindfully create your future, so when your time comes to leave this earth, you’ll do so with no regrets.
Journal Reflections: How have you used bucket lists in the past? What types of things might surface on your reverse bucket list? How might the insight gained from this exercise alter your future vision?