The Gift of Starting Again: Wisdom from Your Future Self
I had a plan.
After deciding to leave my corporate career, I knew exactly what was next: start my own business, publish my first book, step into the life I'd been preparing for during all those years of night classes and weekend explorations. The path forward was clear.
So why did I feel so off?
Even with clarity about where I was headed, there was a disorientation I couldn't quite name. A restlessness that I prayed had nothing to do with my decision. I'd wake up feeling unmoored, uncertain how to navigate this new life phase with its unfamiliar rules and structure.
I thought something was wrong. My 80-year-old self knew better.
It wasn't until I was on the trails – taking long walks through the woods in an effort to find solid ground – that I remembered her.
Years earlier, I'd connected with my future self in a coaching exercise and her wisdom had been waiting in an old notebook all this time. When I finally returned to those pages, everything shifted.
My future self helped my present self see what I couldn't from the middle of the transition: my identity was shifting. And even though I had a solid plan for what came next, I was trying to circumnavigate a critical part of the process – letting go of the old me.
That’s when I learned an important lesson. Absolute mental clarity about your next chapter isn’t enough to move forward. You also need to let your emotions process while you update your environment to support who you’re becoming.
The good news? The wisdom you need is already inside you in the form of your future self.
The Identity We Carry (and Why Letting Go is Hard)
Here's what surprised me most: I never thought my identity was wrapped up in my corporate role.
I had a robust life outside of work – numerous creative, athletic and spiritual pursuits I'd been cultivating for years. I prided myself on being more than my job title. My life was intentionally bifurcated: there was corporate me and there was the rest of me.
So I assumed the transition would be straightforward. I had plenty of other interests. I knew who I was beyond the office.
But when I actually left, the loss hit harder than I expected.
My professional persona wasn't just what I did – it was how I introduced myself and how others saw me. What was most humbling to admit, though, was that it was a significant source of my self-confidence that I hadn't fully acknowledged. The title, achievements and recognition weren't external markers of success for me. They were proof of my competence and evidence that I belonged to a select strata of the corporate landscape.
I chose to leave it all because I knew it was time for something new. But the question that kept surfacing was: "If I'm not that anymore, then who am I?"
The Transition Continuum
If you find yourself somewhere on the transition continuum, know that your identity runs deeper than you realize, even if you think you’ve kept it separate. The expertise you developed, the respect you earned, the way people looked to you for answers – these things shaped your sense of self in ways that only become noticeable when they're gone.
This is a natural part of transition. You can be thrilled about your future and grieve what you're releasing. These aren't contradictory feelings. They're both valid and holding both is part of the wisdom required for this passage.
But here's what my 80-year-old self helped me understand: this uncomfortable space isn't something to rush through or fix. It's where the metamorphosis happens.
Three Shifts in Perspective
As I sat with her wisdom – reading and reflecting on the pages I'd written years earlier – three shifts in perspective emerged that changed everything about how I understood this transition and how I live now.
Shift #1: Starting Again is Your Freedom
The first shift was recognizing that this transition wasn't an ending – it was a beginning.
My old self missed the comfort and familiarity of my prior life, and I wondered if it was wise to walk away from it. But from the perspective of my future self, I was walking toward freedom. A time to open to possibility. A chance to embrace beginner’s mind. An opportunity to welcome curiosity.
I began to understand that starting again meant I could design this chapter intentionally. Not according to what I shoulddo or what others expected, but based on what actually mattered to me now. There was no need to start from scratch or erase what came before. It was a chance to take everything I’d learned – all the skills, wisdom and experience I was fortunate to accumulate over the years – and apply it in a way that was aligned with my current desires and dreams.
Shift #2: You're Not Losing Yourself – You're Coming Home
The second shift was deepening my understanding that my corporate identity was a role I'd played – not my essence.
I'd always known this intellectually. I had my creative pursuits, my spiritual practices, my life outside the office. But I tucked that essence away at the office because I believed that's what was necessary to succeed in that world.
My natural pace and rhythms were overridden to match project urgency. My intuition and creativity were privately accessed but publicly hidden. So letting go of the old identity wasn't a loss. It was creating space for my essential self to emerge more fully.
My career gave me a place to express a part of myself. Now I had the opportunity to express all of who I am—without compartmentalizing, without bifurcating, without leaving essential parts of myself at the door.
The disorientation I was feeling? It wasn't because I was losing my identity. It was because my true self was finally waking up after years of being partially expressed.
The parts of me that had been quieted or set aside during those decades of professional life could finally come forward. From my future self's perspective, I wasn't losing myself. I was coming home to myself.
Shift #3: There's No Right Way – Only Your Way
The third and most liberating shift was this: there's no right way to do this. Only my way.
For someone who'd spent decades following corporate protocols and meeting external expectations, this was revolutionary permission.
I could design this chapter according to my values, not someone else's timeline. I could move at my own pace, follow my curiosity, trust my timing. I could experiment, pivot and change my mind. I could prioritize joy and presence.
This shift in perspective changed everything. While I sought guidance and mentors, I stopped looking for the right way to build my business. I realized there was no correct timeline for publishing my book. I stopped worrying about how my choices were perceived.
Instead, I started asking different questions: What feels aligned? What brings me alive? What does fully trusting my power look like?
From my future self's perspective, what mattered wasn't how quickly I achieved something or how closely I followed someone else's blueprint. What mattered was that I had the courage to trust my own knowing, to honor my own pace, and to create something that was authentically mine.
This transformed how I approached not just my business, but my entire life.
The Invitation
If you're in the middle of a transition right now – if you're feeling that disorientation that comes with releasing an old identity – you don't have to navigate this alone.
Your future self, and all of her infinite wisdom, is already there, waiting to guide you. She has valuable perspective that can help you discern what matters and what you can safely release.
Here's a simple way to connect with her:
Find a quiet space. Close your eyes and imagine yourself at 80 – vibrant, wise, whole.
Ask her: "What do you want me to know about this transition I'm in?"
What comes to mind? It might be words, images, feelings, or simply a sense of knowing.
Journal what comes through.
You can also walk with this question if journaling doesn’t call to you.
You can work with this question repeatedly. The insights will become clearer over time.
This practice of walking with your sage self – learning to access her wisdom, trust her guidance, and let her illuminate your path – has become the foundation of how I navigate not just transitions, but life itself.
I'll be exploring this much more deeply in my upcoming book, Walking with the Sage: A Story of Leaving Everything to Find More, which will be published on April 7th. If connecting with your inner wisdom resonates with you, there's so much more waiting in these pages.
Until then, know this: you’re not losing yourself – you’re coming home. And the sage you’re becoming? She’s beaming with pride, cheering you on.
Journal Reflections: What part of your old identity is the hardest to release? What might your 80-year-old self want you to know about the situation? How might you reimagine your transition so you can do it your way?
P.S. Ready to explore your next life phase? If so, I've created a special gift just for you! It’s a guide called 5 Questions to Explore a Soulful Second Chapter. It contains the type of reflective work that gave me the courage to make my midlife transition. You can download it for free at athenawellness.com/reimagine.
Links:
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Email Kathy: hello@athenawellness.com