The disappointment of a broken promise can make us feel unvalued, upset and hurt. Whether intentional or unintentional, unkept promises erode trust over time. What about the promises we make to ourselves and don’t keep? Those broken promises can be subtler and take shape in the form of what habitually remains unaddressed on our to-do lists. The result is the feeling of not honoring ourselves.

As we look deeper we usually find credible reasons we don’t keep the promises we make to ourselves:

Good intentions – We may have scheduled workouts in at the beginning of the week with the best intent, but we don’t have a Plan B when “life happens” events occur
Reality check – We may be making plans as the person we are striving to become (a stronger athlete with a solid routine) rather than where we are right now (a novice runner) and overcommit to what can be accomplished at this point in time
Vagueness – We may set intentions without defined expectations and timeframes, which become easy to delay since the intended outcome is unclear.

Even though we may have sound explanations for not following through on our promises, the value of keeping our own word erodes resulting in collateral damage to our most important relationship – the one with ourself.

When we are clear on how we want to feel, we can make mindful choices that move us closer to those feelings. For example, if we want to feel energized but are only getting a few hours of sleep a night, we may want to create an evening routine that helps us wind down and encourages deep sleep.

Here’s a simple method to stay accountable to the commitments you make when implementing a change:

Acknowledge where you are right now without judgment
Be clear on the anticipated outcome by defining ultimate expectations, including what needs to be done and in what timeframe
Carve out time every day - the amount of time can be small but aligned with your intended outcome
Identify potential roadblocks or challenges that can be proactively managed upfront
Reinforce good behavior when promises are kept.

Being deliberate with keeping promises is an ongoing practice. Consistent follow through will start to build a muscle of commitment. By making your own needs a priority, not only will you be showing up for yourself, but you will also have more capacity to show up for others in your life with energy and presence.

Journal Reflections: In what ways have you been showing up for yourself and for others in your life? Is there a healthy balance between the two? How might you adjust your external commitments to make room for your internal priorities?

The Art of Showing Up for Yourself