Zen and the Art of Holiday Simplicity: A Guide to Peaceful Celebrations
The holiday season is often idealized as a time of joy and togetherness. But for many, this time of year can feel like a stressful whirlwind of activity, leading to overcommitting time and energy, overspending, and overindulging. But there are ways to ease the pressure, infuse the season with more simplicity and peace, and reclaim the true spirit of the season.
When my clients and students share the impact the holidays can have on their physical, mental and emotional well-being, I understand. It’s what drove me to begin to make changes – and I revisit my choices each time the season rolls around.
It started years ago with gift giving within my extended family. We decided to buy gifts only for the kids instead of each family member, which we continue to do to this day. Each year since, I mindfully review how I want to participate in the season, from cards to decorations to long-standing traditions, to determine what feels good and appropriate for the current year.
Simplicity doesn't mean sacrificing joy or tradition; it's about prioritizing what truly matters. The benefits are many, including reduced stress, deeper connection with loved ones, and the ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of the season, all from curating a more streamlined holiday season.
Of course, there are challenges as well. Family expectations and social norms can add pressure to continue family traditions or to participate in holiday activities. Elders, in particular, can feel a strong connection to cultural heritage and nostalgia through long-standing traditions. There can also be a heightened sense of social anxiety and a fear of missing out when opting out of certain activities.
Here’s a strategic thought process to invite some simplicity into the season by reimagining your holiday traditions:
Reflect on current traditions: What do you genuinely enjoy about what you and your family choose to do each year? Conversely, what aspects feel stressful, unfulfilling or outdated?
Reimagine your ideal holiday season: What does it look like? What are you doing? How do you feel? Create a wish list of ideas, activities, and experiences that excite you.
Start small: Given that it’s already December, what’s one realistic step you can take to increase everyone’s enjoyment this year? How can you start a discussion with your family and friends to get their thoughts?
If others aren't quite ready to embrace a simpler holiday, you can still cultivate your own peace. Focus on your own mental and emotional well-being. Set boundaries when necessary and prioritize your self-care. By approaching the holidays with peace and acceptance, you can navigate the busyness of the season with grace.
A great time to start planting the seeds of holiday change is when this holiday season is in the rearview. When the time is right, have casual conversations with family members about the pressures of the holiday season and share your desire and vision for a more simplified approach. By gradually introducing the concept of a simpler holiday, you can encourage open dialogue, collaboration, and input on potential changes to family traditions.
For this year, there are so many ways you can infuse your celebrations with some zen spirit. Here are a few practical tips for a simpler, more peaceful holiday:
Gifts: Review who you exchange cards and gifts with and what the parameters are, such as store-bought or homemade, physical gift or donation, perhaps an experience would be welcomed.
Decorations: Consider a minimalist approach of a few special decorations or perhaps just natural elements and soft lighting.
Entertaining: Opt for low key gatherings, simplify meals that involve the contributions of others, and find ways to enhance quality time with a focus on connection, laughter and love. If you’re not hosting, think of ways to best manage your travel time and ways to pitch in to help the host.
Traditions: A wonderful way to honor the traditions of those who came before is to share stories of loved ones, update the tradition to include younger generations, and to honor those we’ve lost by finding healthy ways to grieve and include their presence in our celebration.
New traditions: What new activities would be fun to explore? This could include a group experience or road trip with family or friends, time in nature, a wellness retreat, or a solo getaway.
Self-care: Even for the most vigilant of us, it’s important to remember to take care of ourselves and keep up with our wellness practices to support your body, mind and spirit during this time. Remember the basics: eat mindfully, rest, move, take a break, under-commit, express your feelings, phone a friend, find support if needed, minimize technology and balance time alone and with others.
Holiday spirit: When all is said and done, it’s the holiday magic that we remember. How can you reconnect or create it? Perhaps it’s in giving back, spreading kindness, decluttering and donating, volunteering, or simply appreciating the many blessings in your life.
Personally, this year I’ve decided to follow the advice of Joshua Becker, founder of the Becoming Minimalist website. Here’s his family’s approach to gift giving: Each person gets one thing they need, one thing they want, and one experience the family can enjoy.
This line of thought led me to the thing I want and it connects back to when I was a kid. In my tween and early teen years, I’d come up with a list of albums – yes, albums – I wanted and my brother would pick three from the list and that would be his gift. I loved seeing those wrapped albums under the tree and couldn’t wait for Christmas morning to see which ones he selected.
I still have my album collection. And this year, my “want” is a portable record player. Just thinking about that makes me smile and connect with that teenager all those years ago.
I’m still working on the one thing I need, which will probably be a new pair of CrossFit sneakers and the experience, which will include some sort of road trip in the new year.
The last part of my holiday plans, once all of the family commitments are done, is some home retreat time between Christmas and New Years. It’s a quiet time to finish up projects, go through possessions and get donation bags ready for pick-up, as well as preparing for the upcoming year.
I hope some of these suggestions inspire you to take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you and letting go of what no longer serves. By embracing a zen approach to the holiday season, you can create a more peaceful experience for yourself, family and friends.
May you connect with magic and spirit of the season in a meaningful way so you can welcome the new year ready and renewed.
Journal Reflections: What are some of your holiday season pain points? What is the root cause of the irritation? What’s one step you can take this season to alleviate it?