Being With Things As They Are

As we move beyond the one-month anniversary of the Stay-At-Home orders to maintain social distancing with no definitive end in sight, I have noticed a personal shift.  While I’m attending to all of the professional and personal things that need to be done, I find myself being drawn to quiet activities - little pockets of time throughout the day that feel soulful.  As the weeks pass and the impact grows and affects my family and friends, I feel myself not resisting what is, rather, I feel an opening to allow what is unfolding and curious about how life will change in the pandemic’s wake.  I feel deeply aligned with myself.

In my forthcoming book, The Athena Principles, Simple Wellness Practices for Overworked Professionals, I share a story of how spending time in Alaska just after my 40th birthday gave me the space and solitude to name the misalignment I was experiencing at the time.  Surrounded by millions of acres of wilderness, driving on gravel roads alongside grizzlies and moose, standing before immense hanging glaciers and experiencing the midnight sun, it became clear I was not living in accordance with my true nature.  I returned home with an intention to make life changes and create a course of action that would unfold over the next 15 years.  In the book, I call this process connecting with my Inner Wilderness.

I was recently introduced to the work of Chris Heeter, the owner of The Wild Institute that provides wilderness guiding in northern Minnesota.  She also speaks at company meetings and conferences on the importance of bringing your whole self to work, what Chris calls Wild at Work.

Chris recently posted a YouTube video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-rc9qdvi3g) about one of her Alaskan husky sled dogs who escaped her pen after getting frightened during an intense springtime storm.  The dog was spotted in a field by a neighbor three days later and Chris tells the story of how she got the dog to come back to her – by kneeling in the knee-high mud, calling her name, quietly reassuring her as she moved closer and giving her space to sense, smell and naturally reset.  As the dog moved closer, Chris could see and feel the switch as the dog began licking and jumping on her, happy to be back in the fold.

Chris relates this story to helping others live through this pandemic.  She poses the question, “How can we be more flexible, giving and generous in our interactions with others?”  When others don’t feel aligned with their true nature (i.e., their wild selves), can we hold space and provide quiet reassurance and presence until they find their way back?

As a student of mindful self-compassion, I would add – “And how might we also do this for ourselves?”  Can we give ourselves the gift of reassurance with time and space to allow ourselves to reset and realign with our essence, patiently kneeling in the mud if needed?

I had such a moment last Tuesday.  In spite of it being a productive and connecting day, sometime around dinner it was like all of the pain of this time came crashing down around me.  It was jarring.  My breath shortened.  I tensed up.

I’d love to tell you I completely relied on my mindfulness and wellness practices in that moment, but truth be told, I poured myself a stiff drink.  I took a healthy sip of bourbon and laid on the couch, something I rarely do.  I placed my hand over my heart and just breathed.  For a long time.  And named what was going on:  “This is a difficult time, this hurts, I’m living in a hot spot surrounded by so much death and loss.”  More breathing.  More feeling.

It wasn’t pleasant, but it was necessary to let what I was feeling be named and move through me.  I went to bed early that night and woke at dawn, listening to a symphony of spring birds, and noticed the energy had shifted.  I was back in my body, back in alignment, thanks to the willingness to kneel in the mud and provide presence and time to reconnect with myself.

That simple act of self-generosity gave me the ability to do the same for others as the week unfolded.

Journal Reflections:  Where might you be feeling out of alignment with your true nature?  How might you give yourself the gift of reassurance?  What might you do for yourself this week that helps you connect with your Inner Wilderness?